The Wonderful World of Fan Service
by QueenOfTheYaoi
Summary: A big game of truth and dare!  Every character that appears in kingdom hearts has agreed to do whatever the reviewers ask of them.  Submit a deep, personal question or a retardedly hilarious dare and watch the magic happen.  :D
1. Chapter 1

"Um…I've just been handed a microphone, so I'm assuming that makes me the first host." Zexion said, a bit confused. "Oh well. Welcome, fangirls of the world, to the wonderful world of fan service. Wait…what?" He re-read the telepromptor. "Oh, you must be joking." The rest of the Cast felt their jaws drop. Axel snatched another microphone and stood next to the bluenette, a smirk playing at his lips as he read the screen in front of him.

"Yes, people, it's Kingdom Hearts fan service. But since Zexion doesn't approve of that term…let's call it a big game of Truth or Dare!"

"Again I say, what?"

"That's right, you all can ask us questions and give us dares! And by us, I mean everyone who appears in the game, and in certain situations, even those who don't!" Axel gestured towards Reno and Zell. Reno's eyes widened and Zell laughed.

"Wait, we're just here for moral support, yo!" Zexion chuckled lowly.

"It appears to be too late. Now that the fangirls know you're here, you'll most likely get comments, too." They both glared at Axel.

"Damn you, Axel, why'd you drag us into it?" Axel shrugged.

"You two don't belong here anyway. But as long as you are here, you might as well be useful to the show." They sighed in defeat. "Back to the matter at hand! We will do or answer anything you ask of us! Maybe even the graphic stuff." Axel winked at Roxas, who rolled his eyes.

"I am _NOT_ doing _THAT_!" Zexion held out a piece of paper.

"You have to do whatever is asked of you. It's in your contract."

"Contract my ass!" Roxas grabbed the paper and tore it up. Zexion, remaining calm, pulled a copy out of his coat. Roxas grabbed the copy and ripped it up, throwing it over the bluenette's head. He slipped another copy out of his coat sleeve. The annoyed blonde again turned it into confetti. The cycle continued four more times before Zexion was on the brim of busting a gut and Roxas was about to choke him. Another copy slipped out of his boot. "Okay, that's it!" He tackled the bluenette.

"Gah!" Everyone else sweatdropped. Leon went and picked up Zexion's discarded microphone.

"In summary, we'll do whatever you want, even make out with each other." The popular couples glanced at each other nervously. Axel laughed.

"Yeah, very blunt, Leon!"

"Thank you." Axel smirked.  
"Ooh, the fangirls are gonna have fun with you…" Leon's eyes went wide. The rest of the cast, besides Zexion and Roxas who were still rolling over each other on the floor, laughed hysterically. Axel rolled his eyes. "Don't laugh, guys! Do you not realize that we are all at the mercy of hormone crazed teenage girls?" At this, everyone took on matching expressions of shock and fear. They all assumed fetal positions and rocked gently. Zexion and Roxas forgot their tussle long enough to sweatdrop. They found the microphones and spoke into them once more.

"They're right, we're at your mercy. So do what you want and enjoy it while it lasts."

"Yeah, cuz this story had better not last forever…" Roxas glared at the writer through the computer screen.

"Oh, right, the authoress requests that all questions and dares be submitted through reviews as opposed to her inbox."

"And she also wants us to mention that you can request more than one thing at a time. But that doesn't guarantee she'll do them all in one chapter. And only the best of the best and craziest of the crazy will be chosen for use so go insane." Zexion nodded.

"Okay, that about covers it all. Anybody want to say goodbye?" A collection of pained groans responded, making the two boys sweatdrop again.

"Y'know, it's a bit sad that the two youngest characters are the bravest."

"Agreed. Well, until next time, I'm Zexion."

"And I'm Roxas."

"Goodbye, good night, and never paint your toenails while sitting in a vibrating chair." Roxas was silent for several moments.

"…You paint your toenails?"


	2. REEEEALY long review and TV show bashing

"Hello, Fangirls of Earth and possibly beyond, and welcome to The Wonderful World of Fanservice! I'm your writer and host, QueenOfTheYaoi, but you may all call me Michelle-sensei."

"And I'm today's co-host apparently, Squall. But you'd better all call me Leon, got it?" Everyone nods in agreement. "Good."

"Now, I know for the intro, I let these guys fumble around with playing host, but since we all saw how that turned out…" I glared at Axel, who just shrugged. "…I'm going to be the main host from now on, with a different co-host every episode."

"Yup. Now, before we begin, why is _he_ here?" Leon pointed at Zack. "He's from Final Fantasy VII."

"Why can't he be here? Reno and Zell are here! Besides, I needed some more eye candy~" I winked at Zack, who smirked and nudged Reno teasingly.

"See? She thinks I'm sexier than you."

"What? No way, yo. I am the embodiment of hotness." Axel cleared his throat.

"The hell you are. That title belongs to me." He summoned five small flames on his fingertips for effect and held them in front of Reno's face.

"Man, you're just a damn poser who ripped off my look, yo!"

"No I didn't, _you_ ripped off _mine_!"

"How? I'm freakin' _older_ than you!" Reno and Axel silently glare daggers at each other. Everyone sweatdrops.

"Zack look at what you did." I said between chuckles. "Now they're gonna be fighting the whole time." Zack shrugged and smiled cutely.

"I swear I didn't mean it, I was just joking with him!" Leon sighed.

"A likely story. Can we just get to the request already before either Axel cuts Reno in half or Reno blows Axel's brain out?" I turned away from the fighting redheads.

"Aww, I wanted to take bets…" Demyx laughed.

"Ten on Reno!"

"Twenty on Axel." Rude said, smirking.

"Hey!" Reno and Axel yelled simultaneously. Leon shook his head.

"While Michelle-sensei satisfies her redhead fetish," I glared at him, but he ignored it completely. "I'll say the dare. We got quite a few, but one in particular was verrry long, so we figured it would be good for the first episode. They're all from Animeluver4evertimes2. We'll do them in order."

_Roxas: You are now a general in the army. Go bomb a random world!_

Roxas was silent for a few moments. "WHAT?" Axel smirked.

"You heard him. Sephiroth, want to take care of this one?"

"My pleasure." Mischevious glint in his eyes, he dragged a protesting Roxas away.

~one hour later~

Roxas emerged from a room wearing a smaller version of Sephiroth's outfit from Final Fantasy VII. There is an obvious reddish tint to his face. Everyone looked at the general.

"He wouldn't change, so I changed him. All good Generals have to look the part as well."

"Egomaniac…" Cloud whispered. Axel just stared.

"Wow, sexiest general I've ever seen." Roxas made a growling noise and Sephiroth raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. Kairi rolled what looked suspiciously like a bingo ball catcher in front of Roxas. He looked at it, confused. Namine smiled sadly.

"She did say a random world…" Kairi smiled brightly.

"And what's more random than this?" Terra sighed.

"Not much. Just spin the damn thing." Roxas nodded and spun the wheel. A white ball popped out, which Demyx picked up.

"And the world you will bomb isssss…" He read the writing on the ball. "…Atlantica? Noooo!" Xigbar smirked.

"Yeeees. Say bye bye to your precious water and those troublesome creatures that live there." Demyx sobbed. Ventus handed Roxas a remote control. Axel grinned.

"Three, two, one, BOOM BOOM!" General Roxas closed his eyes and pressed the big red button. Everyone watched the monitor. There were mixed reactions to what happened next. They all saw the bomb go under. They saw it fall and land with a big splash. But no explosion. Axel sighed. "Goddammit, and here I was, all happy to see an explosion…" Roxas raised an eyebrow again.

"Why didn't it explode?" Zexion chuckled lowly in his throat.

"That bomb had a fuse. Fuses need fire. Fire and water don't mix." Everyone's jaw dropped. They hadn't taken that into account.

"Okay then, next!" I say cheerfully.

_Axel: Let's see how smart you are! Go on Jeopardy and win more than $200.00!_

"Alright! I get some pocket cash!" Axel exclaimed, punching the air above his head.

~three hours later~

Everyone crowded around Axel as he walked back through the door.

"So? How was it?" Aqua asked, smiling reassuringly. Axel groaned.

_A celestial body, often associated with werewolves._

"_What is Kingdom Hearts?"_

_A term referring to seductive, female vampires who lure men in with their body._

"_Who is Larxene?"_

_A food, normally sweet, that has become popular with teenagers and young adults._

"_What is sea-salt ice cream?"_

_A popular videogame featuring several young adults fighting the threat of darkness in unusual hairstyles and outfits._

"…_What is Tekken?"_

_The only character in the Kingdom hearts game that has any sense of decency._

"…_That's a tough one."_

Axel pounced on Roxas, hoping for reassurance.

"The damned fuckers just wanted to make a fool outta me!" Roxas laughed.

"Just like everyone else does." I said, smirking happily. He shot me a glare. Wakka patted his shoulder.

"So how much _did_ you win?" Axel shuffled to a lounge chair and shlumped into it with a sigh.

"I was in fuckin' negatives, man! Damn, I feel stupid as shit…" Larxene rolled her eyes.

"You are stupid as shit." Axel stood and growled.

"You want a fight, _buggy_?" Larxene glared.

"Bring it on, bitch!" Lightning crackled and fire glowed brightly as they collided with each other in mid-air. A drop of sweat ran down my face.

"…Moving on."

_Zexion: Go on Iron Chef America, and the author gets to pick who you go up against. Oh, and don't forget to wear this maid's outfit._

Zexion sighed. "Why is it always a damned maid's outfit?" I smiled.

"Because you look so cute in one! You wore one when you took care of Roxas, what's wrong now? Oh, for those who don't get the refrence, read A Sick Day, cuz I don't feel like explaining."

"That was just for him because he wasn't feeling well. You expect me to wear the thing on T.V.?" Xigbar smiled evilly and grabbed Zexion's wrist.

"That's exactly what we expect, now c'mon, I'll help you change." Zexion summoned his Lexicon and slapped Xigbar over the head with it until he fell unconscious. I stared at him and he shrugged. Xion laughed.

"Cousin Zexy hits hard, for a scrawny guy!" I raise a brow at her and turn to Zexion.

"…Here's the outfit. Go put it on and challenge Bobby Flay, okay?" He grunted and snatched the outfit.

"Fine."

~The next day~

Zexion walked through the door, still wearing the maid's outfit, with a trophy in hand and a medal around his neck. Demyx and Roxas glomped on him.

"You won, Zexy, I'm sooo proud of you!" Demyx all but squealed.

"I will never get tired of seeing you in this costume!" Roxas said, Cheshire grin on his face. I laughed.

"What happened?" He handed me a DVD.

"Find out for yourself, I need to take a nap…" Zexion walked away. We all stared at the disk.

"Play it!" Ven and Roxas yelled at the same time. I stuck it in the DVD player. The Iron chef title sequence came on. We fast-forwarded to where the challenger came out. Zexion stepped out of the fog, wearing the dress, apron, and hat, arms crossed. Everyone laughed at the pose plus the outfit.

"Dude, that just doesn't look right!" Terra said between laughs.

"You kidding, man? That looks totally right!" Xigbar said, still grabbing his sides.

"Yeah but not with that pose, yo!" Reno yelled, eyes clenched and starting to tear from the excessive snickering. It took ten minutes for the giggle-fest to calm down. Vexen sighed.

"Look, we missed half of the fight." Everyone turned back to the T.V. The fight was nearly over.

"Wait…look at Flay." Xemnas raised an eyebrow at me.

"What about him?"

"Is he…eyeing Zexion's butt?" The cast examined the DVD and saw that the chef was indeed looking at Zexion's ass whenever he was bent over to look into an oven. Laughter broke out again.

"Flay is gay for Zexion, Flay is gay for Zexion!" Axel chanted happily. Xigbar glared at the T.V.

"He's mine, bitch, back off!" Demyx and Luxord turn to Xigbar.

"_Yours_?"

"All of you, shut up." We heard Zexion yell from his room. That just made us laugh harder.

"Okay…I think…we're done here…Next?" I said between breaths.

_Riku: You're going to go on America's Next Top Model._

"…I am?" I smirk.

"Yes, you are. This one happily coincides with another dare I got from XXilikecatsXX."

_I DARE RIKU TOOOOOOOOO STRUT THAT ASS STRUT THAT ASS AND TO DO THE HAIR FLIP OF DOOM!_

"So I have to be on a stupid T.V. show _and_ strut and flip my hair?"

"That sums it up, yeah! Go give this note to Tyra when you get there." Riku sighed and took the note before silently walking out the door."

~the next day~

"Uh, Miss Banks, Michelle-sensei gave me a note for you."

"Oh? Give it here." He gave Tyra the note and she opened it.

_Hey, Ty! I need to call in a favor. This guy? His name is Riku, a friend of mine. Can you give him a private audition? And also, he has some sexy moves, but you can't recruit him for the show. I need him back with me. Just make up an excuse as to why he didn't make it, okay? Oh, and during the audition, I'd like you to play…_

She read the song and laughed. "You do something to tick Michelle off?"

"No, just sold my soul to her by signing a contract."

"Ha! That's even worse! I feel bad for you, honey. Michelle wants me to give you a private audition, so come with me." Tyra left the room and Riku followed. The next room had a runway in it. "Stand on the strip, I need to sort out the music."

"Music?"

"Yes, music." She loaded a CD and walked to the end of the runway. "Time to show me your stuff, Riku baby." She pressed play on the stereo remote and…

_Ladies up in here tonight, no fighting, (we got the refugees up in here), no fighting, no fighting Shakira, Shakira_

…the room filled with the sound of Hips Don't Lie by Shakira.

_I never really knew that she could dance like this, she makes a man want to speak Spanish, Como se llama? Bonita, mi casa, su casa (Shakira, Shakira)_

"…Of course she would choose this song for me." Tyra laughed.

"Time to strut your stuff, honey." Riku sighed and stood at the start of the runway. He walked quickly to the end, one hand on his hip and the other swinging, swaying his hips slightly in time with the music.

_And I'm on tonight, You know my hips don't lie, and I'm starting to feel it's right, all the attraction, the tension, don't you see baby this is perfection._

He got to the end of the lane and struck a quick pose before flipping his hair, pivoting on the balls of his feet and walking back to where he started, still wiggling his butt to the song.

_Hey girl, I can see your body moving, and It's driving me crazy, and I didn't have the slightest idea, until I saw you dancing._

Another pose, hair flip, and pivot.

_Yeah, she's so sexy, every man's fantasy, a refugee like me back with the Fugees from a 3rd world country, I go back like when Pac carried crates for humpty humpty, we needed a whole club dizzy_

He ended at the end of the runway, sitting down with one leg bent and the other out. His opposite arm rested on the bent knee while the other arm held his weight behind him. His head was thrown back, his hair hanging behind him. Tyra clapped.

"Amazing, Riku! Very hot, nice use of poses, and good grace for a boy! But I'm afraid you can't move on."

"Really? Why not?"

"Um…" She thought for a minute. "Because no one on the show can have better hair than me. Natural silver? I can't compete with that! Sorry, honey. Thanks for auditioning though. And tell Michelle hello for me, okay?"

"Okay." Riku walked out of the room and sighed. "At least none of the guys could see that…"

~back in the studio~

Half of the cast is busting a gut, a quarter is trying to figure out why Riku knows how to strut and pose, and the last quarter is trying to control their bleeding noses. Little did Riku know, the private room had a camera in it. We had seen everything. Leon took deep breaths to calm himself.

"Okay, that one was pretty good. Who's next?"

_Demyx: You are the new Ash Ketchum. Now, go and catch those pokemon._

Everyone besides me raised an eyebrow. Demyx tugged on my sleeve.

"Michelle-sensei, who's Ash Ketchum? And what are pokemon?"

"Um…Ash Ketchum in an anime character. Pokemon are little creatures that people can catch in Ash's world. Ash's main pokemon is Pikachu."

"Pikachu? Aww, that's a cute name!"

"And he's a cute Pokemon. So…Now you have to dress like Ash." I held out an Ash costume, complete with wig.

"Okay!" He grabbed the clothes and ran to the dressing room.

~fifteen minutes later~

Demyx walks out wearing the outfit. Everyone stares at him, making him blush.

"How do I look?" I smiled at him.

"A hell of a lot like Ash."

"Really?" He asks happily.

"Yup."

"Yay! So now what do I do?"

"…Try and catch a Pikachu, I guess."

"Sure! What do they look like?"

"They're cute and yellow. They can control lightning and electricity and such. They also have a tendency to be tempermental."

"Hmm…cute, yellow, lighting, tempermental…" Demyx smirked. "I'll be right back!" I sweatdropped. Zexion tapped my shoulder.

"Do you have the faintest idea as to where he's going?"

"No idea."

"You do, of course, realize that there are no Pokemon in The Castle That Never Was, right?" I gasped.

"Zexion, you know what Pokemon is?" He nodded.

"Yes, yes I do."

"How?" He shrugged.

"Ienzo was a fanboy." A little silver haired boy tugged on my sleeve and handed me a sketchbook.

_I am not! I'm just an avid reader!_

I nodded before realizing what I was seeing. "Wait…how're you-"

"PIKACHUUU!" Demyx ran into the room and threw a net over Larxene.

"What the fuck? Demyx, get this damn thing off of me!"

"Nope! You're blonde and cute and tempermental and control lightning! Don't lie, you're Pikachu!" The ropes sizzled as they made contact with Larxene's electrified body. She stood up.

"You stupidass, I'm a HUMAN BEING!"

"No, PIKACHU!" Larxene growled and snapped her fingers. A bolt of lightning hit Demyx, making all his clothes besides his boxers turn to ashes. "Okay…you're human…" He faceplanted on the floor. Me, Zexion, and Ienzo look at each other and snickered, us being the only ones who know what Pikachu looks like. Everyone else stares at Demyx's smoking body and sweatdrops.

"Okay, while Larxene calms down and Demyx stops smoking, lets continue."

_Sora: There's a House M.D. marathon on T.V. Go watch it and tell me what you think._

Sora smiled brightly. "T.V.!" He ran to the video room and turned on one of the various televisions. He was greeted by the sight of a scruffy man with a cane. We all just decided to leave him there. Terra raises an eyebrow.

"So what is House M.D.?"

"It's like a medical mystery show. Like…CSI Miami or Criminal Minds." Terra nodded in acknowledgement. Zack stared at Sora, now engrossed in the show.

"He seemed to be happy about getting to watch T.V." Aerith sighed.

"We don't let him watch T.V. at home."

"Why not?"

"Let's just say he's very…impressionable."

"What do you mean?"

"You'll find out."

~five hours of non-stop House later~

I looked into the video room. Sora is still staring at the T.V. "Sora? Bed time."

"Go away, Wilson, I have to solve this case."

"Wilson?" He turned to me.

"Oh, Dr. Cuddy. And to what do I owe the honor?" It's obvious he's being sarcastic.

"Doctor Cuddy? Sora, It's me, Michelle-sensei."

"I'm too busy for brain games, Lisa. Leave me alone like a good little girl. And if you see Wilson, tell him to hurry and bring me the damned report from the morgue ASAP." He turned back to the T.V. I sweatdropped.

"Uh, sure Sor- I mean, House. Whatever you say." I back out of the room slowly, keeping my eyes on Sora. Then I make a mad dash to the Crew. "Guys, Sora's lost it!" Yuffie raised an eyebrow.

"Lost it? How?"

"He called me Wilson! And then he called me Dr. Cuddy! And he started talking about…" I shivered. "…morgue reports." Everyone shudders but Aerith. Zack leans in to whisper to her.

"Is that what you meant?"

"Uh huh."

"Will it wear off?"

"Depends on how much he liked it." We heard the sound of flesh on floor from the video room. Everyone ran there. Sora growled.

"Who the hell took my cane? Dammit!" We all sweatdropped and backed away slowly.

"Umm…let's just forget that happened and continue."

_Xemnas: Star Wars is upset that you ripped off their lightsabers, and they're coming after you for revenge!_

Xemnas raised an eyebrow. "I have done nothing of the sort!" Marluxia smirked.

"Your blades do kinda look like lightsabers…"

"And Larxene's knives look like kunai but the Konoha ninjas haven't gone after her!" Reno shrugged.

"Not the point, yo. You're gonna have Jedis up your ass in a few seconds." Zack slapped the back of Reno's head. "Ow! What was that for, yo?"

"Language. There are children present!" He gestures to Ienzo, Zexion, Lea, Isa, Roxas, Ventus, Kairi, and all the other characters that appeared to be younger than sixteen. Reno grunts.

"Ya didn't have to hit me, yo…" Zack moves his mouth to begin to apologize, but is interrupted when the lights go off. A window breaks and the lights go back on. A short green man, a young man, and a man dressed in all black and wearing a helmet are now surrounding Xemnas.

"What the hell?" They creep closer and pull out their lightsabers. Xemnas summons his ethereal blades.

"Pay, you must." The green one says.

"Join me, or die." The black one says. The young man smirks evilly. That says it all. Xemnas sighs and swings his blades. The three men are hacked in half and fade away screaming.

"That is it? They are not worthy to wield something so similar to my own weapon." Everyone's jaw hits the ground. Tidus shakes his head.

"Did he really just kill Yoda, Darth Vader, and Luke Skywalker in one swing?" We nod at him. He looks like he's going to cry. "EVERYTHING I KNOW IS A LIEEE!" Wakka tries to calm him down.

"Wow, a lot of messed up stuff in this episode so far…Oh well! Moving on!"

_Leon and Cloud: Sorry to tell you guys, but you are two of the easiest bosses in the games in Kingdom Hearts 2. Go train with Sephiroth, because he's the hardest boss in the game. (for me at least)_

Cloud and Leon look at each other. "That isn't a dare, exactly…" Cloud said, rubbing the back of his head.

"Yeah, more like a command." Leon murmers. He isn't fond of being ordered around.

"I suppose she's daring you two to come and train with me."

"But we already do." Cloud said with a sigh. Zack's jaw hits the floor.

"You do?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"How come you never train with me?" Cloud shook his head.

"I used to, when you were actually alive."

"I'm alive now, if you haven't noticed!" Leon raised a hand.

"Uh…how exactly did that happen, by the way?" Zack shrugged.

"No idea. One minute I'm in the lifestream and the next, I'm back in my body. Ask the authoress." All eyes turn to me.

"What? I wrote him back to life. There's no power greater than that of a pencil and paper." Zexion and Vexen nod.

"Indeed."

"Well if that's true, can't you train us?" Leon asks, eyebrow raised. I blush and scratch the back of my neck.

"I don't think that's a good idea."

"And why not?"

"Because the stuff I write isn't meant for character's eyes."

"It can't be that bad."

"I write cleon fics." Everyone raised an eyebrow.

"Cleon…?"

Cloud plus Leon makes Cleon." Leon is silent. He turns away from me and walks towards the training grounds, grabbing Sephiroth and Cloud by the backs of their shirts and dragging them along.

"All of a sudden Sephiroth's training from hell seems much more inviting…" I watch them leave and scratch at my neck again.

~an hour later~

Leon, Cloud, and Sephiroth stumble back into the room, all three beaten, bloody, and breathing heavy. Seph collapses on the sofa, Leon falling on top of him, and Cloud on top of Leon. He tries to shrug them off, but doesn't have the strength. Eventually all three fall asleep.

~the next morning~

Everyone awakes to the sound of Cloud screaming "Rapists" in an unusually high pitched tone. I smirk internally.

"Don't worry guys, just two more."

_Kairi, Namine, and Xion: You can jump in a lake filled with sharks, pirhanas, bombs, and all those dangerous hazards._

The three girls listed share looks of shock and paranoia.

"Somebody doesn't like us very much…" Xion whispers. Kairi sighs.

"We don't have to do this one…right?" I shrug.

"It _is_ in your contract." Namine's eyes widen a bit.

"But that would kill us. You said you didn't want to kill anybody."

"And I don't." I walk to Zexion and whisper in his ear. He nods and snaps his fingers. Suddenly the girls are tied up with barbed wire and being lowered into a pit of sharks and pirhanas. They all scream and try to thrash, but it makes the wire dig into them deeper. Namine, being slightly taller than the other two, is the first down. Lower, lower, lower, until…

~back in reality~

Namine's finger twitches and she groans, followed by Kairi and Xion. They're unconscious. I smile at Zexion.

"Thanks, Zexion."

"You are welcome."

"So they'll just wake up and think it was a nightmare?"

"Yes. And no real harm will befall them." Roxas nods at him in appreciation.

"I guess you and your uses of logic do have some advantages."

"Why thank you." The three girls jolt back into reality at that instant, screaming fiercely. Everyone covers their ears and winces. They're breathing deeply.

"Oh…god…that was…scary…" Xion panted.

"That was beyond scary!" Kairi yells.

"It felt real…" Namine whispers. They're all shaking. They hug each other for reassurance that it was all a dream. I smile.

"One more, guys, then you're free for the rest of the week." Everyone sighs in relief.

_Everyone else: Kareoke night!_

"…what does she mean by everyone else?"

"I suppose she means everyone who didn't participate in a dare." Vexen answered coolly.

"Oh." I reply. "Who's first?" Saix sighs and raises his hand.

"Let's get this over with." I hand him a microphone. He stands on stage and sings Monster by Skillet. Olette and Selphie follow, singing Tik Tok by Kesha. Next is Wakka and Tidus singing Blue by Eiffel 65. Larxene sings Bad Romance. Zell, Reno, Rude, and Zack all sing Ghostbusters, laughing all through the song. Marluxia sings Hot and Cold. Luxord sings Russian roulette, using Xigbar's gun as a prop. Pence and Hayner sing Kids in America, laughing when they realize most of the children had started singing it with them. Seipher, Ienzo, Vexen, and Lexaeus wouldn't sing. I sang Sanctuary, just to be fair. Leon grabs his microphone again.

"Okay, I'm fairly certain that was the last dare. Any last words, guys?" A chorus of "Goodbye and goodnight" came.

"One more thing, I'd like to point out that my updates will probably be weekly. These things take forever to write, so don't hate me if I forget to update or if I don't finish it in time. And thanks to all the people who reviewed, favorited, and signed up for alerts! I love you all!"

"You love them _all_?"

"Shaddup Squall, you're ruining the moment!" He grunts.

"Don't call me Squall!"

"Squall, Squall, Squallity Squall Squall." He growls at me dangerously. I roll my eyes. "Growl all you want, you'll always love me." Leon sighs. "Well, that's about it! I'm Michelle-sensei!"

"And I'm _Leon_."

"Bye Bye from us all, and don't forget to leave a question or a dare!"


	3. Movie, Blood, and Another Maid's outfit

"Hey there, everyone! Welcome back to the wonderful world of fan service! I'm the host, and writer, QueenOfTheYaoi! But again, you can just call me Michelle-sensei." I said, smiling.

"Yup. And I'm Reno, yo! Today's co-host!" Everyone stared at Reno questioningly. "…What?" Xigbar raised an eyebrow at me.

"Dude, why is _he_ today's co-host?" Reno answers him before I can.

"Got an issue with that, Pirate Patch?"

"As if! Her choice of co-hosts just…confuses me." I interrupt the response on the tip of Reno's tongue.

"Actually, Xiggy, I kind of just watched Advent Children, so I'm kind of on a Final Fantasy thing right now." All the characters that weren't in Final Fantasy roll their eyes, while those who were smirk at each other, besides Sephiroth and Cloud, who just glare at each other. "On the bridge, the bombs, I thought Rude and Reno died! Oh gods, I was sooo sad until I saw you both with Rufus again!" I go and hug Rude. Reno raises a brow.

"What, no hug for me?"

"Later." I turn back to Rude. "Leave it to Rude to make a kick ass fireworks display AND an effective bomb!" Rude grins and pats my head.

"It was Reno's idea."

"No, Reno? An idea?" Cloud, Rude, Tifa, Aerith, Cid, Zack, and Yuffie suppress chuckles.

"Hey! Michelle, that just ain't right, yo."

"Hush or I'll cut your hair off when you're sleeping so you're bald like your partner." Rude looks at me over the rim of his shades.

"Shaved. Not bald, shaved."

"Really?" I rub his head and feel stubble. "Oh. Sorry Rude."

"S'okay." I turned back to Reno, who was now rocking in the corner mumbling something along the lines of, "mommy, save me, a mean little girl wants to cut my hair".

"Reno!" This snaps him out of his trance. He stands and gives me a two-fingered salute.

"Yezzma'am."

"Chill. I won't shave your head cuz your hair is sexy." He breathes a sigh of relief and grins cockily. I turn to everyone else. "Anyone else got an issue with Reno being my co-host?" A few hands creep up, but I ignore them. "Good! Now, on with the show! First request is from a friend of mine from school. She doesn't have an account, but I found this dare to be hilarious and totally imaginable, so I'm doing it anyway!"

_Axel should wear a hula girl outfit and hula dance in front of everyone._

Axel's jaw hit the floor. "She wants me to what now?" Reno was laughing hysterically.

"Damn man, what is it with fangirls? They think of the freakiest shit!" Rude smacked the back of Reno's head so hard, his goggles slipped and hung around his neck. He rubbed his now throbbing skull. "Ouuuuch! Rude! What was that for?" Rude grunted.

"Children." Reno sighed.

"Fine, fine, no cursing, I get it." I chuckle and hand Axel his outfit. He looks at its' articles, or lack of, and sighs.

"I can already feel my masculinity dying." Zexion huffs at him.

"I'm fairly certain your masculinity died the day you grew those hips."

"Hey! S'not my fault I got curves, blame anatomy!" I give them both glares.

"Both of you shut up. Axel, go get changed. Zexion, stop provoking him!" They both grunt okays and Axel leaves for the changing room.

~ten minutes later~

Axel returns wearing the grass skirt, a red tube top, and leas made of pink flowers around his wrists, ankles, head, and neck. I look him over and blush when I reach his waist.

"Axel?"

"Uh huh?"

"You're not wearing underwear, are you?"

"Nope."

"It's…noticeable."

"So?"

"So go put some on. Or some short shorts, it doesn't matter, just put something on so we won't see your sex while you dance. Oh, and lose the tube top." He left again, saying something about that plan not working. I walked back to the Filming Room. I pat Lea's shoulder. "I kinda find it funny that he's wearing six leas and he used to be named Lea." Isa laughs at his friend.

"You're going to be very effeminate when we grow up."

"Hmph. At least I'll be taller than you. Take that, you werewolf." Saix looks at Lea suspiciously at the mention of the word "werewolf".

"Isa, stop teasing Lea. Lea, stop teasing me." Lea raises an eyebrow.

"I'm not teasing you, I'm teasing him." Saix and Isa both facepalm themselves and yell at Lea at the same time.

"I _am_ him, you idiot!" Lea just stared before scratching the back of his neck.

"Oh, right. I forgot." I start to say something snide, but yelling interrupts me.

"NO WAY IN HELL AM I GONNA DO THIS!" Leon and Xigbar raised an eyebrow and go investigate. They return, dragging a very annoyed looking Axel behind them. They release him and he stands, brushing the strands of his skirt back into place. "…I hate this show, I hate it so much." Reno smirks.

"Aww, you make a hot girl, _Axenelle_." Axel rolls his eyes and looks in the full body mirror. He gasps.

"Wow, even dressed as a chick I'm the sexiest shit on earth. Hell yeah." Reno tries to smack Axel in the back of the head with his EMR, but he ducks, and the rod instead connects with Rude's chin.

"Oof!" He fell to the floor. Reno scratched his neck.

"Uh…Sorry, partner…" He helps Rude up. Rude glares from behind his shades.

"How the hell did you become a pilot with _those_ reflexes?" Reno shrugged and the rest of us sweatdropped, everyone making a mental note to never fly with him. Axel sighed.

"Let's get this over with." I smiled evilly at him.

"Wonderful!" I grab my stereo remote and press play. The opening music to Lilo and Stitch play. Axel looks at me.

"…I have to dance like that little Hawaiian girl?"

"Yup!" Everyone harmonized happily. Axel shrugs and starts dancing. He does several hand movements, pivots, ankle twists, and hip swivels. Everyone just stares at the lanky body. I noticed Kairi videotaping it. She looks at me and mouths 'blackmail'. I smile and nod.

The song doesn't last very long. Within a minute and a half, it's over. Axel pants softly and everyone else bites their lips so they won't roar in laughter. But after a minute of replaying it in our minds, we all break down and crack up like newborn chickens. Axel glares at us and blushes before sighing and stomping away. At least he was done with it. I calmed down a bit.

"Okay, that was too rich!"

"Made my day, yo." Reno replied. "So…Who's next?" I hear several gulps.

"Another pretty long one by Tikarose. But I loooove these, so it'd be a shame not to do them. First up: Sora!"

_Sora: Let sora go to the movies and watch scream and let Zexion do an illusion for our characters._

The older charachers shiver while the younger ones raise eyebrows.

"That movie…why did it have to be that movie?" Cloud said. He, along with several others, had broken into a cold sweat. Aerith shot me a glare.

"There is no way Sora is going to see that movie. You know how he gets!" Reno raised an eyebrow.

"Hey, the lil' dude saved the world like three times. Scream should be no problem for em'." Leon sighed.

"Sora can be very brave, when someone's in danger. But since no one is…"

"He would be a total chocobo about it?" A chorus of "yes" followed. Reno sweatdropped. "Damn, you don't give a kid a break, do ya?" A few characters nodded while others whistled innocently. Riku raised his hand.

"Michelle-sensei, isn't that an R-rated movie?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Sora's fourteen."

"…Good point." I dawn a thinking pose before snapping my fingers and pointing to Namine. "Nami, make Sora eighteen." She nods and sketches an eighteen year old Sora in her sketchbook. A cloud of smoke surrounds him, followed by a light. When the smoke disperses, a brunette adult is standing in his place. Everyone stares. "Sora…?"

"Uh huh?"

"You okay?"

"My clothes are too tight…" We look at Sora's body. His clothes hadn't grown. Leon grabs Sora's wrist.

"I can fix that." He drags Sora somewhere with him.

~ten minutes later~

Leon returned, Sora in tow wearing Leon's outfit from Final Fantasy VIII. I glomp him.

"Dear Shiva, you look like Leon's little brother! That's sooo adorable!" Leon nods.

"He looks good in my clothes. Fix his hair and draw a scar, and he could be a mini me." Sora and I smile in agreement. Cloud shivers.

"_Two_ Leons? No thanks, one is more than enough." Everyone chuckles. Leon rolls his eyes.

"Just take him to the damned movie before I shoot you." Cloud growls at Leon.

"…Hmph. Fine. C'mon, Sora."

"Cool, I get to ride on Fenrir!"

"Enjoy it, it isn't happening again till you're _really_ eighteen."

"Aww…"

~three hours later~

We hear Cloud's motorcycle pull into the garage. A mildly startled blonde walks into the Filming Room, holding the hand of a panicking brunette.

"Crap, I've seen the thing four times and it still creeps me out." I stare at Sora, who's glancing around nervously.

"Is Sora okay?"

"Does he look okay to you? The kid flipped out in the theatre and nearly ran out of it. I held his collar and kept him semi-quiet, but he seems to be determined to squeeze my hand off now." Cloud tried to yank his hand away, but Sora whined and pulled him back. He sighed. "See?"

"Uh, yeah, I see. Maybe we should-" My sentence is interrupted by the lights going out. It was 8:00, so it was really, _really_ dark. Sora instantly let out a shriek. He ran at Leon and jumped into his arms, Leon automatically moving to catch him.

"B-b-big brother, it's d-d-d-d-dark!" I smile.

"Aww, that's so cute!" Leon glared at me in a look that said, 'now is definitely not the time to go fangirl' before looking at Sora.

"…Brother? Okay then. Relax, Sora, everything's fine, it's just a power outage."

"It's always 'just a power outage'! And then he gets you!" Aerith sighed.

"I told you he shouldn't have seen it."

"Yeaaaaah, not one of my better ideas." We hear footsteps and look towards the door. Sora shrieks again and buries his head in Leon's shoulder. Leon pats his head, eyes not leaving the door. It swings open and everyone sees the terrible white mask of The Scream. The older ones scream at the top of their lungs. The younger ones, and Sora, cry. He comes closer and pauses five feet away.

"WASSUUUUUP!"

"SAY WHAT?" Lexaeus walks up and looks The Scream over.

"…Scary Movie."

"Really?" Leon puts Sora down and pulls out his gunblade, swiftly cutting the fake murderer in half.

"OOOOH SHIT…" The Fake Scream disappears, along with the darkness. We sigh in relief. I count everyone.

"Wait…where's Zexion?" A corridor of darkness appears and Zexion walked through it.

"Present and accounted for."

"You did that, didn't you?" He shrugged.

"It was part of the dare." Everyone glares at him. Reno laughs.

"That was a good one, yo. I thought we were in trouble there for a minute. But Scary Movie Scream is a pushover!" Sora is in fetal position, shaking. I give him a hug.

"You okay?" He shakes his head. "Can I help?" Another shake. I put on another thinking face and a lightbulb pops up over my head. "You want to say the next dare?" He looks up at me and smiles widely.

"Yeah yeah yeah!" Everyone sweatdrops. Cloud murmurs "He got over that quick…". I hand him the microphone and notecard. He clears his throat.

Axel: After that set Zexion on fire

Everyone is silent. Axel smiles sadistically. Zexion sweatdrops. "Why me?" I smile and pat his shoulder reassuringly.

"Don't worry Zexion, it means the fangirls love you." He glares at Axel.

"Keep away from me, you perverted pyromaniac." Axel puts on a face of shocked innocence.

"Moi? I would never set you on fire." He rolls his eyes.

"Of course you wouldn't. I'm going to the lab, call me if I'm needed." I nod.

"Okay." He nods back and walks away. There is a small, but growing, fire burning on the end of his coat. I look at everyone.

"Shall we harmonize?" Everyone nods. We all speak in unison.

"Three…Two…One…"

"GYAAAAAH!" We look out the window and see a bundle of moving flames jump into the pool. Half of us sweatdrop. The other half falls to the floor and laughs until they're out of breath. I stand and gasp for air. Axel smirks at me.

"I love this show, I love it so much."

"Me too, Axel, me too. Next?"

_Xion: I have never seen you play poker. Play a round of Blackjack with Luxord_

Xemnas raises an eyebrow. "But blackjack is not poker, so which is she to play?" Zell shrugs.

"Not sure. Let the girl choose, I guess." Everyone turns to Xion.

"Umm…Uncle Luxy, which is easier?" We turn to Luxord, who is already setting up a table and a deck of cards.

"Blackjack, love."

"Okay, that's the one." She takes a seat at the other end of the table. "How do you play?"

"The dealer, which is me, deals ya two cards. Add em' and if ya get 21 right away, ya 'ave Blackjack. If ya don't, ya can choose ta hit or fold. If ya fold, you're done. If ya hit, I give ya another card. Add 'at on. If you're ova' 21, ya bust. If you're unda', ya can hit or fold, just like before."

"Oh. Okay. What about the aces, jokers, and face cards?"

"Ace is either one or eleven. Faces are ten. Jokers are wild. Understand, love?"

"Yup!"

"Good, let's start." Luxord deals. His visible card is a nine. Xion's is a ten. She flips the upside down card and looks at it.

"Um…Uncle Luxy?"

"Yes?"

"What's this called again?"

"Blackjack."

"Oh, right. Blackjack!"

"Huh?" Xion put her cards on the table. She had an ace of spades and a ten of hearts. Everyone's jaw dropped. Xigbar laughed.

"Did Poppet just beat Luxy at his own game?" Everyone nods and starts to laugh hysterically. Xion giggles.

"Don't worry, uncle Luxy, I'm sure it was just a fluke." No answer. "…Luxord?" She turned. Luxord was gone. "Where's uncle Luxy?" Everyone looks around. Marluxia points to The Gambler of Fate, who was now huddled in the emo corner next to Axel, who was still depressed about having his manhood killed by hula. We all laughed harder. Reno relaxed and took the notecard from me.

"Okay…okay…I'm good…let's move on…"

_Xigbar: use Saix as a moving target_

Xigbar and Saix look at each other. Xigbar smirks and Saix glares. "No." I pout.

"Whyyy? You said you'd do any dare, you big chocobo!"

"I am not a chocobo! But how do you think I got this scar?" I gasp.

"Xiggy gave it to you?"

"Yes!" Xigbar raises an eyebrow.

"Aww, c'mon werewolf, it was an accident."

"That's a straight up lie, you did it on purpose."

"Okay, I did, but it was only so you wouldn't look like him anymore!" He points to Isa. "He looks like a chick! The scar makes you look badass!" Isa glares.

"I do _not_ look like a girl." Lea chuckles and punches his shoulder.

"_Now_ who's gonna be effeminate when we grow up?" Isa sighed.

"Lea, just shut up."

"Nope!"

"Grr…" He punches Lea's arm harder.

"Heh, you looking for a fight?"

"Maybe. You gonna give me a good one?"

"Definitely." And the fists started flying. Everyone sweatdropped. I sighed.

"Can someone pull them apart?" Braig grabs the collar of Isa's jacket. Ienzo reaches up and grabs Lea's ear. They get pulled forcefully to separate sides of the room. I sweatdrop again. "Thank you." Braig and Ienzo nod. Isa and Lea continue to make faces at each other. "Uh, who thinks we should skip this one?" Three fourths of the room raises their hand. "Okay, moving on then."

_Xemnas: Train as a maid, clothes and all. That should make Zexy happy._

Zexion smirks. "That makes me very happy." Xemnas chokes on air.

"What? Why?" I giggle.

"You're the most masculine member besides Lexy. And we don't have a maid's outfit in his size, so you're stuck with it!" Xemnas sighs.

"You twisted little girl…" I smirk evilly.

"Thank you, dear, I try." I hand him a maid outfit that looks like Zexion's, only with silver instead of black. "Now go get changed." I point to the changing room. He sulks away without another word.

~20 minutes later~

"Michelle-sensei, It's…too short…" We all turn to Xemnas, who had come out of the changing room. The dress ended mid thigh. I smiled.

"No it isn't. That's how long Zexion's outfit is, too. Thigh high." He blushes and tries to pull the dress down lower. "If it makes you feel any better, I think you look very hot. Doesn't he, Saix?" I look at Saix, who was plugging his nose and tilting his head back.

"Dabbit, I neeb a tissube!" I hand him a box of them. He pulls out four and plugs his nose with them. The tissues turn red. I laugh and everyone else sweatdrops.

"He look good enough to get you up?" Saix glares at me but flushes anyway. Xemnas smirks. He walks to Saix, purposely strutting, and grabs the wrist that wasn't holding the tissues up to his nose. They were covered in his own blood. Xemnas licks the liquid off his fingers. Saix flushed deeper and grabbed more tissues just in time to stop another gush of blood. Xemnas laughs.

"I'm beginning to enjoy this costume." I smile.

"Why, because you can tease Saix with it?"

"Yes, exactly. Apparently not just him, either." He gestures toward the cast. I look and see Xigbar, Xaldin, Vexen, Terra, Seifer, Leon, and Cloud all holding tissues under their noses. I go into hysterics.

"You guys are sadomasochists! A little blood licking and you all start gushing, that's just too funny!" They shoot glares at me.

"S'not oubr faublt. Thab's just how our bobies reabct!" Terra says through a red faceful of tissues. The other five nod in agreement. Everyone laughs

"I could understand Xigbar, Xaldin, and Vexen. Maybe even Terra and Seifer. But Leon and Cloud? Seriously unexpected!" They shrug.

"I libke blood. So whabt? It's sebxy."

"I know it's sexy, I like it too, but I just didn't think you two were into that! See? You guys even have the same fetish! You should totally fuck each other!" The look each other.

"Hebll no." They both say in unison. We all laugh again. I made Xemnas clean the blood spatters on the floor just so he'd bend over. Saix groans.

"Well, now that we've sorted that out and gotten the blood cleaned, I think we're done for now." Reno pouted.

"Aww, already?"

"Yeah, already. Sorry Reno. You can be my co-host again later."

"Cool. So do I get that hug now?" I smirk give him a hug. He holds me in place and rests his chin on my head. I sigh.

"Like I said, that's it for now. Until next time, I'm Michelle-sensei."

"And I'm Reno, the epic embodiment of all things hot and sexy." Axel growls and tackles Reno to the floor.

"For the last damn time, that's my title, not yours!"

"The hell it is! Michelle, who's sexier?" Everyone turns to me and I sweatdrop.

"To me, Reno, but that's just me…"

"Ha! See? The author thinks I'm sexier than you!"

"What? Why?" I shrug.

"I got a thing for long haired guys and redheads. Reno has both."

"But my hair's long, too!"

"Long and spiked, Reno's hair is always in a ponytail. Just deal with it, he beat you." Axel goes back to the emo corner and cultivates mushrooms. Everyone sweatdrops.

"Who can tell me what just happened here?" A few hands go up. "Yes, Tidus?"

"Two pretty boys that look almost exactly the same got into a fight about who's prettier and pulled you into it, and now the loser is all mopey?"

"Correct, class dismissed." The cast leaves except Reno, who waits for me.

"Hmph. We don't look almost exactly alike, do we?"

"Lessee, red, spiked hair, facial tattoos, same height, similar voice, I say you're pretty damn close to twindom."

"But you like me better." I yank his pony tail and kick the back of his knees. He winces and crumples to the floor.

"Yeah, don't make me regret it." I leave him there.

"…This chick is feisty." Reno runs after me and shuts off the lights, leaving Luxord and Axel there in the dark to pick the glowing fungi they had grown.


	4. A Guest CoHost, Sweets, and Swimsuits

"Bonjour, ma famille et mes amis!" Everyone raises an eyebrow at me. Rude sighed.

"She said 'hello my family and friends'." I nodded.

"Oui!"

"Michelle-sensei, stick to English." Rude states. I pout.

"Fine, English it is. Hello world! Welcome back! As always, I am your host, Michelle-sensei!" The cast looks around and makes confused sounds.

"No co-host today?" Tifa asks with a suspicious look on her face. I wink at her.

"Not to worry, Tifa, of course I have a co-host! A very special one."

"Who?" Several voices question. I smile widely.

"A very close friend of mine! This is a thank you chapter to her for being so supportive. All of today's dares are hers too."

"Oh? And where is this friend of yours?" Vexen says in his usual emotionless voice. The cast hears someone behind them clear their throat. They turn to the sound. In the hallway stood a blonde haired, blue eyed girl who appeared to be about ten, holding a sketchbook and munching on a cupcake. She walked next to me and smiled. Sora, whom is still in his eighteen year old form because I refused to let Namine change the Leon-lookalike back, gasped.

"Hey, that's my cupcake!" Tears welled in his eyes. Riku sighed and patted his shoulder.

"Relax, Sora. You can go one damn day without eating a cupcake." Sora just pouted.

"Nooooo, my cupcaaaaake!" Sora burst into tears, but was ignored. I hugged her.

"All of you, welcome my friend and today's guest co-host, JuJu The Funmeister!" Everyone looks at her.

"Isn't she a bit…young?" Xion questions. I shake my head.

"She's older than she looks." Demyx walks to her and smiles.

"She's so cute and innocent looking! You sure she's one of _your_ friends?" Juju snickers. I send him a glare.

"Okay, first of all, I take offence to that, and second of all, looks are very deceiving."

"I'll believe that when I see it."

"Oh really? Demyx, back up. Axel and Marluxia, come here." Demyx backs away from us, looking like a puppy who had just been kicked. Axel and Marluxia reluctantly walk in front of me. I nod at JuJu. "Okay, do what you wanted to do." She nods back and walks in between the two men, looking curiously up at them. With a sudden movement, she fisted her hands into their hair and pulled them down into view, examining their scalps for roots. They both winced and fell to their knees.

JuJu raises an eyebrow at the lack of different color. I laugh at the several shocked expressions that graced the cast's faces. JuJu let them go. She turned to me, wrote something in her sketchbook, and handed it to me.

_Wow, they really were born with freaky natural hair colors…_

Axel and Marluxia rubbed their heads and stood with everyone else. I laugh again.

"Still think she's innocent?" Demyx nods.

"That was just curiosity." I sighed.

"If you say so. Maybe the dares will convince you otherwise. JuJu, they're all yours." She smirks at them and gives me her list of dares.

_Axel and Reno, go to an anime convention cosplaying as each other and let the fangirls do whatever they want to you._

Axel and Reno glanced at each other. The older redhead smirked.

"That's it? Too damn easy." Axel glared at him.

"Too damn easy, huh? We're talking about _rabid_, _shrieking_, most likely _yaoi_ fangirls here!" JuJu perked up and wrote something in the sketchbook again.

_Ooh, can I add that to the dare? Make all the fangirls AkuReno fangirls! _Axel and Reno looked at her, slightly afraid.

"What? No freakin' way!" I smirk at the younger redhead.

"What's wrong, Axel? You're not afraid of us yaoi fangirls, are ya?" Axel's eyes widened.

"Oh gods, you're one of them, aren't you?" I grin sadistically.

"Sure am." Axel and Reno shudder. Axel pushes Reno towards the changing room.

"L-let's just switch clothes before she makes us do something worse…"

"Y-yeah, she's freakin' me out, yo." They walk into the small room and shut the door behind them. Kairi giggles.

"Please tell me you have a video camera in there." I giggle with her.

"But of course I do~! They do anything in there and it'll be just like twincest!" JuJu groans and nudges me playfully before finishing Sora's cupcake, which again made him whine even though he ate several a day and had another secret stash on the gummiship, and handed me the book again.

_You're such a perv. _I laugh.

"Yeah, I know, but you love me anyway." She shrugs.

_True_. I was gonna reply, but a groan from the changing room stops me in my tracks. My imagination goes wild as I, as well as Kairi, Selphie, Olette, and Xion, listen intently.

_Uuugh…R-Reno…That doesn't go there._

_But that's where you want it, right?_

_It feels better there._

_Yeah, looks better there, too._

_Heh…told ya I was hotter than you._

_That part's still negotiable._ We heard Axel groan again.

_C'mon, just give in already._

_To you? No way in hell._

Our fangirl imaginations went wild. Kairi and Xion fainted. Selphie and Olette ran to get tissues to stop the blood that had started dripping out of their noses. I just stood there, ear still to the door, eavesdropping carefully. That is, until the door opened.

"Oof!" I fell to the floor. Willing myself to look up, I saw Reno with his arms around Axel's waist. Wait…what? Upon closer facial examination I noticed that it was the other way around. I blushed and stood, rubbing the back of my head. "Um…oops." The redheads snickered.

"That's whatcha get for eavesdropping, ya big perv." They said in unison. I glared at them.

"Zexion, may I borrow-"

"Way ahead of you." He handed me his Lexicon, which he'd already summoned in anticipation for this moment. I grabbed it and promptly smacked both redheads, none too lightly, upside the head. They winced and rubbed at their throbbing skulls, tears pooling in their eyes. I handed the book back to Zexion.

"And that's what you get for being smartasses, now go to KumoriCon, and I don't want to hear another word out of you two until the fangirls have driven you insane!" Another pair of synchronized gulps. Axel summoned a corridor of darkness and stared blankly at it.

"Are you really gonna-"

"NOT ANOTHER WORD!" I pushed them both into the portal, sighing when they were finally gone. I walked towards the changing room. Zack raised an eyebrow.

"Going to get the video camera?" I flashed him a devilish grin.

"Oh hell yeah." With that I ran into the room and searched for the hidden camera, only to find it smashed to pieces and swept under the rug. I smirked. "…They so totally did something sexy in here."

~Five hours later~

Everyone hears high pitched squealing, and even higher pitched screaming, heading towards the castle. I open the front door and peer out, several other curious heads looking with me.

Axel and Reno were running towards the castle full speed screaming loudly, a mob of squealing fangirls on their tails. Reno's Organization XIII coat was in shreds, his newly spiked hair completely messed up. Axel was in no better position, the suit jacket and white dress shirt draping his body in ribbons.

"Michelle-senseeeeeeeeeeeeei!" Axel yells at me, face looking frantic.

"Make them go away, make them go away, make them go awaaaaaaaay!" Reno shouts. I almost want to laugh. Almost. I know what fangirls can do. I step outside the castle. Axel and Reno hide behind me as if I was a meat shield. The fangirls stop and look at the two men behind me, a hungry shine in their eyes. I scan the group and quickly identify their leader.

And it was someone I knew.

I walked up to her. "Yumi?" She's glaring at me harshly, followed by a glimmer of recognition, and then a wide smile.

"Michelle!" I hug her.

"It's good to see you, Yumi!" I let go and step back to look her over. She smiles.

"It's good to see you, too! So, what's up? Why're you protecting those two?" She gestures to the shaking and still very fearful Reno and Axel cowering behind me. I sigh and smile evilly.

"I've staked a claim on their asses." Her face lights up.

"Ooh, really? Details, ASAP!" I laugh.

"Later." I move closer and whisper in her ear. "These two, along with the other Kingdom Hearts characters, sold their souls to me. They're doing whatever I say. So, can you say fanservice?" She smirks.

"_You_, are _so_ twisted."

"Yeah, I know."

"Well, since you're torturing these two in ways that I don't think I'd even _want_ to know about, we'll back off for now." She turns to the mob. "Salute our Superior and retreat!" The fangirls in front of Yumi salute me.

"Sir!" They all say. Yumi hugs me goodbye, reminding me to make them do something pervy, just for her, and leads the pack away. I turn to the two redheads and the rest of the cast. They're all staring, wide eyed.

"What?" Axel and Reno bow before me.

"All hail the goddess that protects our asses from being fangirled!" They synchronize. I laugh.

"Get up, you idiots." The redheads stand.

"Uh, right. Sorry. Thanks a lot, Michelle sensei." Axel said, smiling. I grin in a devious way and walk back into the castle.

"I can't have anyone walking in on my territory, can I?" Several characters gulp. I walk up to Juju The Funmeister, who was now munching on a bar of sea salt ice cream, and rest my elbow on her head. She glares at me. Axel's eyes widen.

"Waaaait a minute…That's _my_ sea salt ice cream! Those things ain't cheap, you little-"

"How about we move on now?" I interrupt before Axel can finish that sentence, sending him a harsh glare. Juju nods and scribbles down the next dare, handing it to me eagerly.

_Luxord can dress up in a Lady GaGa outfit and sing Poker Face._

The Gambler of Fate, who had been sitting down and drinking a hot cup of Earl Grey tea, choked on it. He coughed it out of his lungs.

"You want me to dress like that walking art exhibit?" Juju nods.

"Yup." I say calmly. He shakes his head.

"_Why_?"

"I dunno, cuz you're a gambler? Poker Face seems appropriate." Luxord opens and closes his mouth repeatedly, searching for a snappy comeback that he couldn't find. Axel laughed.

"She has you pinned, man!" Luxord's face reddened. Whether out of anger or embarrassment, no one knew. He snatched his costume away and stomped into the changing room. Everyone sweatdrops.

"Luxord is a complicated Brit bastard, isn't he?" Xigbar says with a chuckle. I roll my eyes and pull off his eyepatch. He gasps and covers his eye, running to his bedroom to replace it.

"Aww, that was kinda mean." Lea says through his barely contained giggles. I shrugged.

"I got bored. So when Axel and Reno were being hounded by fangirls that wanna make them fuck each other," Axel and Reno shudder at the memory. "I decided to play a prank of my own."

"Really? Cool, what'd you do?" He said, giving me an approving nod. I smirk slyly.

"Let's just say his room, guns, and clothes are all very frilly and _very_ pink." Everyone snickers at the thought. We hear a scream from upstairs. A corridor opens and a very upset looking Xigbar comes out. His Organization coat has been cut where it reached his knees and was colored a shade of pale pink that matched Marluxia's hair. It was unzipped, revealing a hot pink, thigh length mini dress. His eyepatch was also pink. In his hand he held one of his guns. It was, of course, pink. It was also covered with small red roses.

"Pfft…Hahahahahahaha!" The entire cast, myself included, broke into a gut wrenching laughing fit. Xigbar glared and pointed the gun at me.

"You…BITCH! No one messes with my gun!" I was laughing too much to notice. He grinned sadistically and pulled the trigger.

In a flurry of pink bubbles, out popped a small flag, saying BANG in big red letters.

Xigbar's eyes went wide. He threw the gun to the floor and slumped his shoulders, shuffling to the emo corner and sitting in it.

"…I'm going to pretend I didn't see that." Luxord muttered, averting his eyes from the scantily clad (at least for the organization) man. I smirk at him. He's wearing the weird, spiked, latex looking costume that Lady GaGa wears in the Poker Face video. I hand him a microphone.

"You know what to do, Luxy. C'mon, sing your heart out! It'll be fun!" He glares at me at the mention of 'heart', and steps onto the stage. "Oh, right. Sorry." Luxord sighs as the background music starts playing.

_I wanna hold em' like they do in Texas Plays, Fold em' let em' hit me raise it baby stay with me, Luck and intuition play the cards with spades to start, And after he's been hooked I'll play the one that's on his heart._

We all stare in amazement as Luxord, despite his earlier protests, dances along with the song. A few people, (Kairi, Selphie, Sora, Marluxia, and Olette) sing the background words when they remember that Luxord can't.

_Oh, oh oh oh oh, ohhhh, Ohh oh oh ohh oh oh, I'll get him high, show him what I got, Oh, oh oh oh oh, ohhhh, Ohh, oh oh ohh oh oh, I'll get him high, show him what I got._

The gambler smiles as he moves across the stage, appearing to be having fun. I mutter an 'I told you so' that I knew he couldn't hear.

_Can't read my, Can't read my, No he can't read my poker face, Can't read my, Can't read my, No he can't read my poker face._

_P-p-p-poker face, P-p-poker face, P-p-p-poker face, P-p-poker face._

The five previously mentioned characters sing 'She's got to love nobody' and make the 'muh' noises, happily coordinating their words to Luxord's. Luxord picks up Xigbar's discarded gun.

_I wanna roll with him a hard pair we would be, A little gambling is fun when you're with me, Russian Roulette is not the same without a gun, And baby when it's love if it's not rough it isn't fun._

He puts the gun to his head and pretends to pull the trigger. Another repeat of the choruses, accompanied by neatly executed hand, leg, and hip movements.

_I won't tell you that I love you, Kiss or hug you cuz I'm bluffin', With my muffin I'm not lying I'm just stunnin' with my love, Glue gunnin', Just like a chick in the casino, Take your bank before I pay you out, I promise this, promise this, check this hand cuz I'm marvelous._

The gambler repeats the choruses several more times and ends the song by falling into an accidental, and very painful, split. He groans and falls onto his back, afraid to move his legs. We notice several rips in the latex pants and break down laughing.

"Okay…Okay…That was nice…You gotta admit, the man can dance."

"Thank you, love." Luxord moans out, absentmindedly rubbing at his inner thighs. I smile sympathetically.

"I think you've been tortured enough, Luxy. Lexy, would you mind carrying him to his room?" Lexaeus gives a silent nod. Luxord struggles to move into a position to be lifted. He ends up being carried to Havoc's Divide bridal style, Lexaeus returning minutes later and telling me that the gambler was okay. The cast stares at me. "…What?" Demyx exaggeratedly gasps.

"So she _can_ be nice!" I shoot him a glare.

"Of course I can be nice! Y'know, sometimes, when I wanna be." Axel raised an eyebrow.

"How come you aren't nice to the rest of us?"

"I saved you from being balls deep in Reno less than an hour ago, didn't I?"

"Well, yeah, but-"

"Are you saying you think _he_ would top _me_?" Reno interrupted.

"There is no way I'd be the uke, so that only leaves seme. Take that, bitch." The older redhead growls and tackles Axel to the floor, straddles his waist, pins his wrists above his head, and glares daggers directly into his eyes. Axel glares back silently. I swear I see electricity crackle between their gazes.

"Just screw each other already!" I, along with Rude and Cloud, say with a smirk. Axel and Reno glare at us, then back at each other. They grunt.

"I'd much rather die." They say again. The glare deepens as they continue to speak in unison. "Oh really? That can be arranged. Oh yeah? You gonna kill me? Yeah I'm gonna kill you! You know what, fuck you! Fuck you too!" They 'hmph' at each other, stand, and walk to separate sides of the room and out the doors, going in different directions. Roxas sighs and follows Reno, Rude following Axel, in an attempt to convince them that they should be friends instead of…whatever it was that they were to each other. We all sweatdrop.

"Alright then… JuJu!" My blonde companion, a variety of different flavored pixy stix poking out of her mouth, trots up and gives me a two fingered salute. Leon raises an eyebrow.

"Wait…Aren't those…_my_ pixy stix?" JuJu nods, answering without turning to meet the gunblader's gaze.

"What? Aw man, I was gonna steal those!" Zell half whispered, half whined. Leon turned to him.

"You were gonna do what now?" Zell scratched at his neck guiltily.

"Uh, nothing…" Leon sighed.

"How in hell does she keep getting our sweets?" I shrug.

"I dunno, the same way Yuffie get's all her materia I suppose. But that's not the point. Next dare, JuJu!" JuJu nods again and hands me another notecard.

_Make Cloud, Roxas, and Ventus crossdress and do the chicken dance_

"SAY WHAT?" The three blondes harmonize. Those who knew the trio well, (Leon, Tifa, Reno, Terra, Aqua, Axel, Demyx, and even Zexion) snicker at them. I grin and Roxas sighs.

"Why us?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Xigbar chuckles. He walks up and ruffles Roxas's spikes, Leon doing the same to Cloud and Lea to Ventus.

"…Our hair?" The trio says, again in unison.

"Yeah, your hair. Your odd, gravity defying, chocobo style hair." I say with a smirk. Ventus shudders.

"Do we really have to crossdress for this?" He says. He has a paranoid look on his face. I grin evilly.

"No. Just stand here." The trio does as I tell them. I smile innocently and hold up a pink potion. Roxas gulps.

"W-w-what's that do?"

"Let's find out, shall we?" Before the three can protest, I smash the potion on the floor in front of the three blondes. It explodes on contact, enveloping them in a cloud of pink smoke. Everyone gasps when the smoke clears.

Cloud, Roxas, and Ventus were girlified. They all look at each other before simultaneously peering down their shirts.

"Oh my gods, we're chicks!" Ventus grimaced.

"…No fair, how come you two have bigger boobs than me?" Roxas asked, poking Cloud's and Ventus's chests.

"And you two have wider hips than me!" Ventus replies, sounding way more offended than he should be. Cloud smirked victoriously.

"Oh hell yeah, I'm hotter than both of you!" He covered his mouth, eyes wide. Everyone stared at him. "Wait, no! That was the estrogen talking!" The cast nods. I smile and suppress my chuckles.

"Well? Start dancing!" I press play on the remote and the chicken song begins. Roxas and Ven shrug and dance, pinching their fingers, flapping their elbows, twisting their hips, and making 'bawk' sounds. Everyone withholds roaring laughter. Cloud crosses his arms.

"Not happening." Roxas laughs and tugs on Cloud's shirt as Ventus continues to dance, now bobbing his head in an attempt to peck at Terra. Terra backs up to avoid the pecks, and after a while, ends up being chased around the room by his squawking friend. Aqua goes into hysterics.

"C'mon big brother, it's kinda fun!" Roxas said through his chuckles. Cloud raises an eyebrow.

"Fun? It's humiliating. And I don't remember becoming your older brother." Roxas shrugged.

"We look enough alike. Now c'mon and do it!"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

"NO."

"Please?"

"NO!" Roxas flinches at the volume of Cloud's voice. All is silent for a minute.

"Pleeeeeease?"

"…Fine."

"Woohoo!" Roxas runs to Ventus and continues to dance, motioning for Cloud to come with him. Cloud sighs and gives in.

"Bawk bawk bacawk." He says with a sigh as he mimic's Roxas's movements. Leon makes a small noise as he tries to hold back his hysterics. Cloud glares at him. "Shut it, Leonhart."

"Pfft…I didn't...say anything…" Cloud growls at the gunblader and continues to dance the chicken (chocobo) dance. "Where's a camera when you need one?" I grin evilly and hand him a video camera. He returns the smirk and starts filming Cloud dancing.

"Okay that's it!" Cloud snarled as he tries to snatch the camera. Leon moves it out of his reach. The blonde lunges again, and the brunette again holds it away from him. He growls. "Okay, you wanna see me as a chocobo? You'll get me as a damn chocobo! SQUAWK!"

"Uh oh." Leon runs away from the furious chocobo-head. Cloud chases him eagerly. Cloud tries to grab Leon's collar, but Leon runs faster. "No! Bad Chocobo! Go away! Shoo!"

"BAWK! BACAWK! SQUAWK! (Not till you give me back the damn camera!)" We all sweatdrop as we watch Leon run around like a, excuse the lame pun, chicken without a head, still laughing at Cloud. Eventually Cloud tackles him to the floor and smashes the camera to bits with the flat side of his buster sword.

Repeatedly.

Leon gulps and makes a note to never piss off Cloud when he's a PMSing girl ever again. Cloud stood, breathing heavily.

"There, dare's over, now change us the hell back!" I laugh.

"Okay, Cleo. I think you, Roxene, and Venticia have suffered enough." The three send me glares at the mention of their girl names. I throw a blue potion at the trio. It explodes, the smoke this time making the three into boys once again.

"Aww, I'm not pretty anymore!" Ventus whines. I roll my eyes and smirk at him.

"Deal with it." I scanned the cast. JuJu is again nowhere to be found. "JUJUUUU!" She walks up to me and smiles. She's holding a stick of rock candy in her hands. Terrs's eyes widen.

"How in hell did you get that? I left all my rock candy in Radiant Gardens!" She smirks evilly. I laugh and pat her head.

"I've taught her well." Terra glares harshly at me.

"Make her give it back." I shrug.

"JuJu, give the nice man back his stick of candy." She nods. With a loud crunch, she bites of all the candy and hands Terra the wooden stick. Terra stares down at it.

"…You're lucky you're a little girl…" Aqua pats Terra's back.

"It's not like you don't have more."

"But that was the last blue raspberry one."

"Well then buy more!"

"…I'm out of munny…" Terra sulks to the emo corner, kicking Xigbar out of it so he could sit in fetal position. Xigbar, still dressed in pink everything, just sits next to Terra and listens to random punk bands on his I pod. Everyone sweatdrops.

"Uhh…Meanwhile, back at the ranch, I think we have time for one more dare. Kay, JuJu?" JuJu nods and gives me the last notecard.

_Make some of the characters dress in girl's bathing suits and sing Wanna Be My Lover by Spice Girls._

The cast all jaw drop. I re-read the card. "Some? Who's some?" JuJu makes a face like she's lost in thought. A few minutes later, she snaps out of whatever silly little JuJu world she was in and scribbles something in her sketchbook. She hands it to me and I read it out loud.

"…Riku." Riku raises an eyebrow.

"What is it with fangirls wanting to see me do girly crap?"

"…Vexen." Vexen's eyes widen.

"Me? Why me? I assure you I don't have the voice nor the body for something like this."

"Suck it up, man. Next is…Leon." Leon gulps. Cloud smirks and holds up a video camera.

"Thank gods for karma." Leon rolls his eyes.

"If this shows up on YouTube, I know who to blame."

"Put it on YouTube!" Leon sends me a glare as I continue to read the list. "…Zexion." Zexion chokes on air.

"Say again?" Roxas pats his shoulder and chuckles.

"First I get to see you in a maid's outfit, and now a bathing suit. The embarrassment continues."

"…Hmph." Zexion replies quietly. I try not to laugh at their antics.

"…Saix." Xemnas smirks and Saix blushes pink.

"Need I really participate in this endeavor?" He asks.

"Yes, yes you do." Xemnas answers before I get the chance.

"And last is…Marluxia." Marluxia smiles.

"Ooh, goodie, I get to show off my sexy body _and_ my lovely voice." I smack him in the back of the head. He winces. "What was that for?"

"Being cocky." I hand the characters their bathing suits. "Now get changed and prepare to sing." The six vict- I mean, characters, walk into their rooms.

~20 minutes later~

"I'M NOT COMING OUT!" All six yell. I sighed.

"Why not?"

"Why not? Why not? Open your eyes, child! We're in women's swimsuits!" Vexen yells angrily. I sighed again and rub the back of my head.

"Fine. I'm willing to negotiate. If you all come out, I'll exempt you from all dares next chapter." They hesitantly peek their heads out. They all look paranoid. Zexion sighs and comes out first. He's wearing a cobalt blue one piece suit with a white short sleeved hoodie.

"…Alright, I'll do it." I huggle him.

"Yay! Thanks Zexy, I knew I could count on you!" Roxas and Demyx snicker.

"Yeah, thanks a lot, _Zexy_." The mullet haired blonde said. Zexion glared at him, instantly making them both laugh louder. I turned back to the changing room.

"Okay, who's coming out next?" I hear Vexen sigh as his door opens. He's wearing a pink sports bra style top and brief bottoms. There's a transleucent, hibiscus print skirt tied around his waist, along with a pink hibiscus in his hair. I stare at the flower. "Where'd you get a hibiscus from?"

"…Found it." He replied. I raise an eyebrow.

"Riiiight, and the lifestream is purple." Back to the changing room. "Next?" Leon opens his door and silently steps out. He's wearing a lacy red bikini top and black thong bottom. He's hiding his red face.

"How come I have to wear the damned thong?" I shrug and wink at Cloud.

"Just a present for Strife over there. He deserves a bit of eye candy." JuJu perks up at the mention of candy. Cloud blushes.

"Are you hinting at something?"

"Mayyyybe…" Cloud turns away and grumbles something about Leon really needing to "take the thing off", which I of course take the wrong way. I chuckle. "Three down, three to go. C'mon out, ya chocobos!" Marluxia comes out next. He's wearing a black one piece with a circle of fabric missing from each side.

"Okay, I know I thought this would be a good opportunity to show off, but I'm having my doubts…"

"Why? I thought you would like this."

"I liked the idea, but this suit gives me a wedgie…" he replies, trying to get the fabric unstuck.

"You think you have it bad? I'm wearin' a damn G-string, here!" Leon grumbles. I roll my eyes.

"Okay, just Riku and Saix. Which of you are coming out first?"

"He is." They both said. I sigh.

"Fine, then come out at the same time." They do as I tell them. Riku is wearing silver bottoms with a skintight silver swimming shirt. Saix is wearing a powder blue top that looks like a shortened halter top and hipster bottoms. I smile at them. "There! Now that wasn't so bad, was it?"

"That was very bad!" Riku said angrily. "Why do they do this to us? Do we look like girls to them?" I smirk at him.

"Well actually, you kinda do."

"Preposterous!" Vexen exclaimed, looking himself over in the mirror. "We look nothing like females in our usual states."

"Oh yeah? You, Riku, and Marluxia look like chicks because of their hair. Zexion looks like a girl because of his build. Saix and Leon…they don't look like girls, but that's just because of their scars."

"Wow, I've never been so happy to be disfigured." Leon said in a half honest, half sarcastic tone.

"What? It's true! Don't you guys think-" I turned to the cast, only to see Sora, Cloud, Zell, Xemnas, Demyx, and Roxas holding bloody tissues under their noses. I go into hysterics again. "What the hell! All of you are pervs! They're just in bathing suits, nothing too bad about that! You guys are such freakin' lightweights!" They blush and turn away from me.

"Whby? Whby mubst you torbture ubs so?" Xemnas mutters through the tissues. My eyes stay fixed on Sora. He looks back at me, eyes wide.

"Nbo! I dibn't gubsh fobr Ribku! I swbear it wabs jubst bad tibing!"

"Yup, a likely story." I lock eyes with Cloud.

"Dobn't. Saby. Anybthibg." He murmers darkly with a glare.

"Cloud gushes for Leon~!"

"Do Nobt!"

"Then who are you gushing for?"

"Noboby!"

"Liar." I lock eyes with Zell, who just shrugs and smiles. Then Demyx and Roxas. "And do you two have an excuse?" They look at each other and back at me.

"We Blabme horbmobes!" I laugh at them.

"Yeah, that's a pretty good excuse." I turn back to the six bathing suit wearing men and usher them onto the stage. "Start singing, I want a good show~!" The men look at each other.

"…Maybe now would be a good time to mention…" Leon begins.

"…That we have no idea who the Spice Girls are." Zexion finishes. I glare at them.

"You…All of you don't know…who the Spice Girls are?" They gulp.

"…No." The six say in unison. My glare deepens. Marluxia raises his hand.

"I suggest we run for our lives." He suggests. Everyone murmers sounds of agreement and takes off in different directions. I drop everything and follow them. JuJu sighs. She's now eating a small chocolate cake. She picks up the microphone.

"Well, Michelle is trying to kill people, so I guess that means we're done here. I'm JuJu the Funmeister, today's guest co-host. Remember to leave a dare for our cast. See you all soon." JuJu drops the microphone and walks towards the cast. They raise an eyebrow at her.

"So you _can_ talk?" Namine asks. JuJu nods. Axel smirks victoriously.

"Ha! You owe me 200 munny, Sinclair!"

"Damn…" Reno digs in his wallet, pulling out the requested amount and handing it to Axel.

"HELP US!" The six men run past the cast. I follow them, but then stop and back up.

"Oh, did I miss the closing?" JuJu nods again. "Oops, sorry." I scratch the back of my neck. Demyx smiles understandingly.

"S'okay, JuJu did it for you." I raise a brow and look down at her.

"She did?" Another nod from my blonde companion. I smile. "Okay, good." I look at Demyx. "So do you still think she's-" That's when I notice the cake. I narrow my eyes. "…That was my cake." JuJu nods and smirks. "Why are you eating my cake?" JuJu shrugs. "That was my only cake." Another shrug, followed by an evil smirk.

"Have it back." JuJu said calmly as she smashed the cake into my face. I'm paralyzed with shock. She takes a minute to look over her handiwork, gives a thumbs up, and runs for her life. The cast jaw drops again. Lea runs a finger across my cheek and licks it.

"Aww, what a waste. It's good cake…" Lea states sadly. I clear the pastry from my eyes.

"…She is never coming back here ever again." Leon and Cloud glance at each other.

"...How did you put it? Thank gods for Karma?"

"Yup." Cloud answers with a nod.


	5. Back To SemiNormal with Two More Dares

"Hiya, people! All of you should know who I am by now, so I won't bother repeating myself."

"Yup! I'm Sora, today's co-host!" Everyone raises an eyebrow at Sora and turns to me.

"Yes, before you all ask, he's today's co-host as an apology for the Scream incident." Sora shuddered at the mention of Scream.

"Um, Michelle-sensei, can you turn me back now?" Sora said, gesturing to himself. He's still in eighteen year old form and still wearing Leon's clothes. I huggle him.

"Aww, do I have to?"

"Yes, please!"

"Boo…" I snap my fingers and Sora turns back into his fourteen year old form. Sora smiles and looks down at himself.

"Now the clothes are too big!" Leon sighs and drags Sora off again to get him back into the correct clothing.

~Ten minutes later~

Sora and Leon walk back into the studio, Sora back in his regular clothes. Leon is blushing, but for his sake, I didn't bring it to attention.

"Well, now that Sora looks like Sora again and not Leon, let's get started, shall we?" I handed Sora the notecard. He reads it and giggles.

"First dare is from OathkeeperOfOblivion. I love your username by the way! Can I steal it?" Riku rolls his eyes and gives Sora a punch in the shoulder.

"Bad Sora, no stealing." He says, smirking. Sora pouts.

"Fine, no stealing. Can I borrow it then?"

"Just. Read. The dare." Xaldin demands. Sora steps behind me to put some distance between him and the dreadlock man.

_Axel- Sneak into Reno's apartment while he's sleeping and cut off his ponytail. Blame it on Cloud. Oh, and here, have a cookie. Don't worry, you're definitely sexier than he is, the turk bastard. :D_

Sora smirks and motions for Axel to come and read the dare. He takes the card, and a chocolate chip cookie materializes in his hand. He stares at it.

"…Kay, free cookie." He takes a big bite and reads the dare, spitting the cookie back out afterwards. He coughs out the remainder and smirks at me deviously. "Oh. Hell. Yeah. Finally, a dare I can get behind. OathkeeperOfOblivion, you are officially my new best friend." Roxas raised an eyebrow at the pyromaniac.

"What am I , then?"

"Aww, you know what I mean." Axel summons a corridor of darkness and turns to me. "If I do this, will you admit I'm sexier?"

"Yup." His smile turns sadistic as he walks through the portal. Roxas turns his confused gaze to me.

"I don't get it, what was the dare?" I snicker and motion for him to come up. He walks to me and I hand him the card. He reads it and sighs. "Axel's gonna die." Xigbar and Demyx raise their hands at the same time.

"Dibs on his skin mags!" And off they go to trash Axel's bedroom until they find his crate of pornos. Xion scratches her temple and tries to figure out what she was hearing. When she does, she smiles.

"Can I have his I-pod?" I hand the little red device to her. She smiles widely. "Thank you Michelle-sensei!" Xion takes a seat on the sofa and flips through Axel's songs, giggling when she finds his Disney playlist.

"I'm _so_ getting his chakrams!" I say loudly, punching the air above my head. Terra rolls his eyes.

"Are you all forgetting that whatever he's doing might not really kill him?" I shake my head and hand him the card. He reads it and pinches the bridge of his nose. "He's a dead man…" The he smirks. "I claim his laptop."

~that night~

Axel snuck silently into Reno's apartment. He had to admit, the guy had a good eye for interior design. White walls and furniture with crimson carpeting. Now to the task of finding the right room. He opened the first door and found a bathroom. Next door…an arcade. "The hell? No fair, this ass has it made!" He complained as quietly as he could. Behind the next door was a hot spring. Axel raised an eyebrow, but kept silent. The room after that was a medieval torture chamber. Axel sweatdropped. "Don't even wanna know…" The very last door opened to show the Turk sleeping in a king sized bed with red sheets. The Flurry Of Dancing Flames crept up to his side without a sound. When he saw that Reno was sleeping on his back, he groaned. "Oh come on!" He said before slapping his hand over his mouth. Reno didn't move. Axel sighed and scratched the back of his neck before he had a lightbulb moment. He pulled a loose feather out of Reno's pillow and tickled his cheek with it. "Coochie coochie coo, c'mon, roll over damn you."

"Mmm…" Reno flipped onto his side and nuzzled into his pillow. Axel smirked and pulled out a pair of long scissors, walking around to the other side of the bed to face Reno's back. He held the ponytail out straight by the end and gently slid the barrette out, just enough to get the scissors around the base.

SNIP SNIP SNIP

Three quick snips later, Axel was holding his prize with a wide smirk, looking down at the other redhead. Now…how to blame it on Cloud… Axel took a pen and a notecard out of his Organization coat. He scribbled something on the card and left it by Reno's pillow. He summoned a portal and turned to leave, but lingered a bit longer, just to gloat.

"Who's smexy now, bitch?" Not expecting a response, Axel turned to leave, only to be stopped by a moan from the sleeping man.

"A-Axel…" Axel froze in fear of being caught, but three simple words made a victorious smile rest on his face. "Axel…please…more…"

"Heh, I'll think about it." And then he left, portal closing with a hiss.

~the next morning~

Everyone is already in the studio except Axel and Reno. I glance at my watch and groan.

"Maybe they killed each other…" Just then, Axel runs into the studio and nearly knocks me over. He's panting heavily. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Demyx and Xigbar fumble with the pornos to put them away, Xion pull the buds out of her ears, and Terra close the laptop and hide it behind his back. They shoot me innocent, 'oh no, I didn't steal from Axel's room, no sir' looks and I smirk at them. When Axel's breathing is under control, he looks up at me and smirks.

"Mission accomplished." He said, holding up the long length of red hair. I smile and pat his shoulder.

"Good for you. And you're still breathing."

"Yup. The guy was asleep the whole time. And check this, when I was about to leave, he started-"

"YOU ASS!" An angry voice interrupted. A very pissed off Reno stomped into the studio and right up to Cloud. "WHY, MAN, WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU DO THAT? I WOULD NEVER DO THAT TO YOU!" Cloud raised an eyebrow.

"Reno, calm down. What the hell are you talking about?"

"THIS!" Reno yelled, turning and gesturing to his now dramatically shortened hair. Cloud's eyes widened.

"Dude, what happened to your hair?"

"YOU DID!" Reno held a card in front of Cloud's face.

_Payback for putting me singing drunk karaoke at Seventh Heaven on You Tube, bitch._

_Love Cloud._

Cloud snatched the card and examined it more closely. Reno growled impatiently.

"I swear, I'm innocent!"

"LIAR!" Reno yelled, pulling his Electro-Mag Rod out of its' holder. He held it up menacingly. Cloud put his hands up and stepped backwards, Reno stepping forward.

"C'mon, Reno, relax. You know I wouldn't do that to you." Reno took a deep breath.

"Yeah, I thought you wouldn't too, and look where we are now." His voice was calmer, but he still looked furious. He tapped Cloud's forehead with the end of the EMR. "I'll give you a five second head start." Cloud blinked. Finally deciding that a mad as hell Reno can't be reasoned with, he ran, quite possibly for his life. Reno counted to five and chased him. Everyone sweatdropped. The five of us who knew that Axel was actually responsible (Axel included) looked at each other and snickered. Axel held up the ponytail again.

"So what do I do with this?" Sora smirked.

"Go plant it in Cloud's room!" We look at him, wide eyed. He raises an eyebrow. "What?"

"Wow, my other is really evil when he wants to be…" Roxas said, mentally reminding himself to never find out what happens to people who get on Sora's bad side. The other three nod in agreement. Sora just shrugs.

"I'm not evil, just…mischevious." I rolled my eyes.

"Right, not evil, we totally get it." Sora smiles and nods, not recognizing the sarcasm. "Well then, shall we move on?"

"We shall." Sora replies. He goes onto the computer and flips through the dare list. "Ooh, here's one from NexarkXIII that's pretty good."

_Marluxia: sing "I'm a Barbie Girl" while wearing a princess peach dress._

_Zexion: burn your lexicon_

_Xigbar: Let me borrow your guns so I can shoot Sora for killing you!_

_Axel: Call Larxene the pmsing pikachu from hell and see what happens!_

_Squall: Give Seifer another scar making him look like Saix._

_Selphie: Enter the national jumprope competition!_

_Xemnas: Go to Kumoricon and let the fangirls do whatever they want with you._

_Everyone: Call Xemnas Mansex for the entire chapter._

_Awesome so far I love your fanfic! I give you an oreo and a glass of milk._

An oreo and glass of milk appear in my hand. "Yay oreo!" I move to take a bite. Sora sends me puppy dog eyes. I sigh and break the cookie in half, giving the bigger piece to Sora just to see if he'd get hyper. Sora grins and dunks his piece in the milk before chomping into it.

~Five minutes later~

Sora's bouncing on his heels, wide smile splitting his face. "Can I have more oreos? Can I can I can I can I pleeeease?" Everyone sweatdrops.

"There you have it people, Sora does indeed get hyper. Let's get a move on these dares. Hey, Mansex!" Mansex glares at me.

"I truly hope you don't expect me to justify that with acknowledgement."

"You just did." Mansex blinked. Realizing he had indeed answered to the name, he slumped to the emo corner, muttering "Why must everyone torture me?" in a solemn tone. I sweatdrop again.

"Alrighty then. Sora, can you get my supplies?"

"Yup yup yup!" And off Sora dashed to get my torture devi- uh…I mean my box of tools.

~ten minutes later~

Sora returns, carrying a cardboard cube. He puts it in front of me. "Here ya go!"

"Thanks, Sora." I rummage through the box, pull out a princess peach dress, and throw it to Marluxia. "This should be your size." Marluxia unfolds the dress and looks at it.

"That's no fair, I thought I was exempt from all dares this chapter!" I shrug and smirk at him.

"Author has editorial privileges. Gotta give the readers what they want." Marluxia just stares at me. He huffs and walks into the changing room.

~twenty minutes later~

Marluxia comes out of the changing room, now wearing the peach dress. I look him over. "Something's missing…" I look again and snap my fingers. I dig in my box, pull out two balloons, and blow them up until they're the same size. I stuck them in the dress where the boobs would go. I look one more time and snap my fingers again. I went through the bottomless box of awesome, pulling out a small tiara and quickly putting it on Marluxia's head. I moved out of the way, giving the cast a clear view. "Ta dah!" The cast all stare before bursting into laughter. Marluxia rolls his eyes.

"Oh please. I totally work this dress." I snicker softly and hand him a microphone.

"Yeah, now let's see you work the mike. Start singing, Mr. Crossdresser Man!" Marluxia glared at me, walking onto the stage. He takes a deep breath and released it slowly. And the singing began.

~three minutes later~

Marluxia ends his solo. Everyone stares at him and goes into hysterics.

"Did somebody videotape that? Please tell me somebody videotaped that." Vexen muttered through his laughter. I smirk and hold up a camera, which is now plugged into Terra's (Axel's) laptop.

"I got it all. Can you say You Tube?" Marluxia gasps and looks at me.

"You wouldn't."

"I would."

"You couldn't."

"I could."

"You won't."

"I will." I move the mouse over the submit button. Marluxia lunges for the mouse.

"Don't click that-"

CLICK!

I click it before he can reach me. "…button." Marluxia stares at the computer screen as the file gets sent, showing "video has been submitted" seconds later. His bottom lip quivers as he takes a seat beside Mansex in the emo corner, listening to heavy metal on his I-pod. I snickered.

"Next, Zexion has to burn his Lexicon." Zexion, who wasn't paying any attention until he heard his name, raised an eyebrow.

"I have to _what_?"

"Burn. The. Lexicon." I said, enunciating the syllables. Zexion's eyes widen. He shuts the Lexicon and clutches it to his chest.

"Now why would I do that?"

"Because the fangirl said so." Axel said, smirking. He threw a fireball into the fireplace, the wood in it immediately catching the flame and growing into a contained blaze. Zexion shakes his head.

"No, no, no no no, a thousand times _NO_." Luxord pats the bluenette's head.

"You don't hav' a choice here, love." The Gambler of Fate tried to snatch the book from Zexion's arms. Zexion moved the book out of his reach. Roxas sighs and stands in front of Zexion, turned to face the cast.

"Why do you all gotta be so mean? I mean, come on, that's his only- GIMME THE BOOK!" Roxas snatches away the Lexicon before Zexion has time to react. The bluenette gasps and tries to get it back, but Roxas keeps him at leg's length with his foot, holding the book over his head.

"Give it back give it back give it back GIVE IT BACK!"

"Sorry, Zexy, no can do." Roxas chucks the book into the fire. The fire devours it and turns blue for a few seconds before returning to orange. Zexion stares in shock and falls to his knees. He then falls on his side and curls in on himself with a groan. Roxas blinks at Zexion and looks at me. "Uh…maybe we went a tad bit too far…" Zexion groans again in agreement. I sweatdrop and hold up a book.

"Um…Zexy?" Zexion stays silent. I sigh and toss the book to Roxas. He taps the bluenette's head with it.

"Zexion, that wasn't your lexicon." Zexion sniffs, wipes his eyes and looks up at Roxas.

"It wasn't?"

"Nope, here's your book, safe and sound." The bluenette smiled widely and took the book when Roxas handed it to him.

"I love you sometimes, do you know that?" Roxas smirks smugly and nods.

"Yeah, I know." Zexion hugs the book and retreats to the sofa, taking a seat next to Xion, who was listening to I Won't Say (I'm In Love) from the Hercules movie. Xigbar grins.

"Well, next one involves me, so bye!" Xigbar said, summoning a portal that led to NexarkXIII. I grab his hood and yank him back in place.

"Wait a minute, Xiggy. You give her your arrowguns and Sora'll get shot. I got a better idea." Xigbar raises an eyebrow. I pull his ponytail, making his knees buckle, and whisper something in his ears. He smirks.

"That'll work too." Xigbar summoned a new portal. I dug in the bottomless box of awesome, pulling out a silver whistle. Leon furrows his brow.

"And that is?"

"My secret weapon. It summons Sora's kryptonite." Leon nodded. I turned to the portal and blew the whistle. The ground starts to shake. Everyone looks at the portal, eyes wide with anticipation. The tremors get faster, now accompanied by the sound of pounding feet.

Out of the portal pops a flood of small, barking puppies, all heading straight for Sora. Sora screams and runs away from the pack of dogs.

"GYAAAAH! POMERANIANS! MY ONE TRUE FEAR!" He yelled. The Pomeranians chase Sora around the studio and eventually outside. Everyone sweatdrops, a few moving to the window to continue to watch. The cast laugh as they watch the dogs eventually dog pile on the brunette. Xigbar smirked and patted my shoulder.

"Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant." I smile at him sinisterly.

"Why thank you." Ventus raises an eyebrow.

"Out of all the scary things in the world, spiders, ghosts, clowns, furbies, Evil Barney, why would Sora be scared of _Pomeranians_?" Cloud sighed and Yuffie giggled.

"Our fault." They say in unison. Leon raised an eyebrow.

"How?" Cloud scratched the back of his neck.

"We were on patrol one day in winter and Yuffie sees this little hurt dog, so we took it back to the castle and healed it. But it turned out she didn't like Sora very much. The poor kid got barked at, bitten, scratched, and peed on." Yuffie giggled again.

"In that order, too. I kinda thought it was funny." Xigbar nods.

"And how'd Michelle-sensei find out?" I grinned devilishly.

"Xigbar, I have dirt on everyone. And I am willing to use that dirt whenever it works to my advantage." Everyone stared at me.

"And you people believe that _I_ am evil?" Sephiroth noted, raising an eyebrow. I nodded at him.

"You _are_ evil, Seph. I'm just eviler." Sephiroth grunts and walks to the training grounds, murmering something about not being outdone by a little girl. I rolled my eyes at him.

"Alrighty, Axel, you're next." Axel shrugged and walked in front of Larxene. He put a hand on her shoulder and looked her in the eye.

"Larxene, you are a PMSing Pikachu from he-"

THWACK!

Axel didn't even get the chance to finish. Larxene punched him straight in the nose, sending him clear across the room. I stare at the crumpled heap that was now Axel's body. His hair was standing on end and his body was twitching. I turn to Larxene.

"You electrified that punch, didn't you?" She smiles innocently.

"But of course." I smirk at her.

"Very nice." She smirks back.

"Thank you very much, Michelle-sensei." We giggled in that demented way of ours. I motion for Seifer and Leon to come up to me.

"Okay, your turn. Larx, can I borrow a knife?"

"You got it." Larxene said, summoning a knife and throwing it at me. I caught it in between my index and middle finger. Seifer looked at Leon and glared at me.

"_That_ is _no_ damn fair! Square Enix made _him_ go from 17 to 26, and _I_ went from 18 to 15! I don't even _have_ my scar anymore!" He ranted. I sighed and snapped my fingers. Seifer was transformed into a 27 year old version of himself. He looked at himself, particularly his newly formed brown trenchcoat (or whatever that thing he wears is called), white collared shirt, and black leather pants. He smirked. "Nice choice of clothing." I nod appreciatively and hand him a mirror. He looks at his face and runs a finger over the scar that had returned to it. "Damn, I'm sexy for a guy in his late twenties." I nodded again.

"Yes, yes you are. You're now a year older than Leon, just like you were in Final Fantasy VIII."

"Thank Shiva. Can I stay like this?"

"Only because you look so hot like that. But first," I toss the knife to Leon, who catches it and smirks sadistically. "I think you and Leon have a date over one of Larxene's knives." I hear Seifer gulp. Leon pins the blonde against the wall and moves the knife across his face in the opposite direction of the other scar. Seifer flinches, but doesn't move. Just when Leon is about to finish the cut, Seifer jerks his head forward, knocking the knife into Leon's face. Leon cringed and backed up, Seifer doing the same. They went to the mirror and saw that, just like before, they had matching cuts that would undoubtedly leave scars. I giggled. "There ya go, NexarkXIII. Two for the price of one." Seifer and Leon glare at me, then continue to stop the bleeding with alcohol soaked cotton balls.

"Why is it always us?" Seifer grumbled, covering the wound across his face with medical tape.

"Us what, getting matching scars?" Leon replied, still trying to get the cut to stop leaking blood.

"Yes."

"Eh, who knows. We're just weird friends like that."

"Yup." I giggled again and went into my bottomless box of awesome, pulling out an orange jump rope.

"You're up, Selphie! Make big sister proud!" I said enthusiastically, tossing her the rope. She caught it and smiled.

"Okay!" And off she went. The cast raise their eyebrows at me.

"You and Selphie are related?" Riku asked, really confused. I shake my head.

"Nah. I just feel a kinship with the brunettes of Kingdom Hearts." Aerith pats my head, Olette leans on my shoulder, and Sora (who had freezed the Pomeranians into ice sculptures and smashed the sculptures to bits) hugs my arm. "I also consider myself related to the characters with freaky eye colors." Vexen and Axel smirk, Lexaeus and Saix nod, and Mansex laughed.

~an hour later~

A crying Selphie walks into the studio. I huggle her. "Aww, what's wrong?" She sniffed and wiped her eyes.

"I-I went to T-Twilight Town to co-compete in the t-to-tournament, b-but I lost after t-three jumps and fell flat on m-my face!" The shallower characters chuckle at Selphie's misfortune, while the more sensitive ones say "Aww" and try to think of ways to cheer her up. I smile at her.

"Well, at least you tried. And you got the dare done, that's good!"

"I guess…" I smile again and ruffle her hair.

"Good girl! I know what'll make you feel better, watching Mansex get maimed by fangirls!" Selphie giggled and walked back to the cast. "Oh Maaaanseeeex!" I say, trying not to laugh at what I knew was to come. Mansex sighed and walked to me.

"Do I have to participate?"

"Yes, yes you do." Saix answered before I could, smirk on his lips. I raise an eyebrow at him. He mouths "payback" and I gave him an approving smirk.

"Well, off you go!" Mansex opened a portal and stared at it. I rolled my eyes and push him into the vortex before he opens his big mouth.

~At kumoricon~

Mansex walked through the convention center, eyes wide. There were people everywhere, with booths selling kingdom hearts stuff. A girl pulls on his coat. He looks down at her and she smiles. She's wearing an Axel wig, but holding Oathkeeper and Oblivion in her hands.

"I like your Xemnas costume. It's really convincing. If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were the real deal!" Mansex scoffs at her.

"This is no costume, child." The girl raised an eyebrow. She reached up and yanked on Mansex's hair, expecting it to be a wig and slide right off. Instead, Mansex winced and his knees buckled. The girl's eyes went wide.

"So…You're the real Xemnas?"

"Yes, just as I said before." The girl glares at Mansex harshly.

"HEY EVERYONE, THIS IS THE REAL MANSEX!" Several heads turn in their direction. A crowd of fangirls form around the girl.

"You ass! Using Roxas and Xion like that!" One of them yelled.

"I can't believe you, you sick, twisted bastard! You watched your subordinates die with a smirk on your face!" Came another voice.

"Let's get em', girls!" The first girl yelled. Several of the fangirls pulled out weapons similar to their favorite characters. Keyblades, chakrams, arrowguns, scythes, knives, gunblades, and various swords such as Sephiroth's and Cloud's were held up menacingly. Mansex backed up.

"Hold on, ladies, I assure you there is no need for violence…" Several defiant noises came from the crowd as they began to creep in on the Superior, cornering him. Realizing he had nowhere to go, he shrieked as the fangirls pounced on him.

~three hours later, back in the studio~

Mansex came through a corridor of darkness, clothes tattered, body bleeding, weapons drawn but not used. He stood there staring into space before collapsing altogether. I run up and poke him.

"Mansex? Are you alright?" Mansex groans.

"Fangirls…evil, evil fangirls…don't like me very much…" I smirk and silently thank the fangirls for wailing on him. I pat his back.

"You just wait there and sleep for a bit, kay?"

"…Kay…" He said, not having the strength to argue, or use sophisticated language. I go and pick up my microphone.

"Okay then, lots of weird things in this chapter! But none of these things would be possible without you, my loyal readers, so if you wanna dare a character to do something, just leave a review and tell me! Pleeeease? If I don't get enough, I won't be able to write another chapter!" I add a pout for effect. "Well, I think this chapter is over. I'm Michelle-sensei!"

"And I'm Sora!"

"Goodbye, good night, and never forget to look out for Pomeranians!" Sora shrieks again and looks around.

"Aah, Pomeranians! NOOOOO!" Realizing that there were none there, he blushed. "Oh, right…I froze em' all…" I sweatdrop.

"…That you did, Sora, that you did…Well, bye people! Leave a dare for our characters, okay?"


	6. Hyperactivity and a Larxene Kidnapper

"Hey there, people of the earth and possibly beyond! I'm your humble host, Michelle-sensei!"

"And I'm her super epic co-host, Axel! Got it memorized, ladies?" Axel winks at the camera. Selphie rolled her eyes.

"What girl would want to memorize _you_?" She said in an uninterested tone. Axel blinked several times before dawning an annoyed expression.

"I'll have you know, I have a fleet of fangirls that grovel at my feet." Now I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah, right. You grovel at _their_ feet so they won't hog tie you to a bed and force Reno to-"

"Michelle-sensei!" Several voices chorus. I look at them.

"What?"

"Language, young lady." Vexen said, waggling his finger in a small scolding maneuver. I sigh.

"Sorry, uncle Vexen…" He pats my head.

"It's alright." I smile at him and turn back to Axel, who was again in fetal position from the memories of being chased by AxelXReno fangirls. I look at Reno, who's also gently rocking in a corner, terrified look on his face. I snicker at them and tug one of Axel's spikes.

"C'mon, stand up, ya big scardey cat. We got a show to do." Axel looks nervously around for fangirls. Seeing none (besides me, of course) he stands and wipes his eyes.

"Right, I wasn't scared. Nope, not a bit. Got it memorized?"

"That's such a lie."

"So?" Axel replied defensively. I sweatdrop and pull a notecard out of my pocket.

"First review of the day is from gstol1."

_Dares:_

_Cloud – I feel sorry for you. Go wail on Axel for cutting off Reno's ponytail._

_Xemnas – I hate you, but you don't deserve to be beaten to death by fangirls. Curaga!_

_Selphie – (hands oreos and milk) go nuts._

_That's it._

_No… wait. Ah, yes, that's it._

_(Grabs Larxene by the waist and runs away with her)_

"Get offa me you freaky little perv!" Larxene yells, trying and failing to shock the crap out of the reviewer. The rewiewer smirks. He's wearing rubber gloves. I stare as Larxene struggles in gstol1's grip.

"…Guess you really _can't_ shock someone wearing rubber…" I say, opening a portal and walking through it. I pop in front of the reviewer. I pull Larxene out of his grasp and behind me. "Sorry dude, need her for the show. But here's a little consolation present from me to you." I hand the reviewer a Larxene plushie. He stares down at it, shrugs, and nuzzles it before walking away. Larxene grins at me.

"Thanks, Michelle-sensei." She said calmly. I wink at her and shoot her my mischievous smirk.

"You're welcome." I said in a sweet voice. She returns the smirk. Larxene and I rejoin the rest of the cast.

"…Where in hell did he _come _from?" Xigbar asked, eyebrow raised. "Doesn't this place have like hundreds of dusks and samurais protecting it?" I snicker.

"The power of fans, Xiggy, the power of fans." I gave the card with the review on it to Cloud. He read it, eyes widening after every word. When he was done reading, they narrowed fiercely at Axel, who gulped.

"So it was you? Reno put me in the infirmary for two damn days, you ass!" Axel scratched the back of his head and chuckled quietly, the sound lacking any humor.

"It was the fangirl, her freaky powers made me do it!" Cloud tapped the buster sword against his shoulder menacingly. Axel gulped again, backing up as Cloud closed in. "…I'm about to get punched, aren't I?"

"Big time." Cloud grabbed Axel's collar and held him in place, pulling back his other fist. Axel shut his eyes and turned his head.

"Not the face, not the face!" Cloud rolled his eyes at Axel's narcissistic statement and punched the redhead hard in the chin, sending him flying through the roof. He then ran out of the studio to continue his work whenever Axel landed. I sweatdropped.

"…Alrighty then, while my co-host gets viciously murdered by a vengeful Cloud, let's finish these dares." I snap my fingers and a circle of glowing green appears around Xemnas, who had still been passed out on the floor. Xemnas was slowly healed. When he was totally healed, he looked up and blinked at me.

"Huh. Not all fangirls are evil, after all." I hmph at him.

"Of course I'm evil, I just need you for later, so c'mon." I pulled Xemnas to his feet and led him to a sofa. I laid him down on it. "Now relax for a bit and I'll call you if I need you."

"Okay." He said, drifting off to sleep. Saix sat Indian style in front of the sofa and ran his fingers through Xemnas's silver hair. I giggled at the sight. A pack of double stuf strawberry milkshake oreos and some milk appear in my hand. I shrug.

"And these must be yours, Selph." I smiled at her and handed them to her. She grinned and dove in.

~an hour later~

Selphie is running around the room, a path of smoke in her wake. "HEYHEYHEY THATWASYUMMY CANIHAVEMORE PLEEEEEEASE?" She yelled, so high off the sugar in the oreos that her words were running together. I sweatdrop and read the nutrition facts on the oreos. A serving was five, and Selphie ate the whole pack, so she ate six servings. There were 44 grams of sugar per serving so…I gulped.

"EVERYONE TAKE COVER!" I yelled. The cast runs around, trying to find things to hide in/behind/under. Me, Tidus, and Wakka are hiding under A coffee table. "Does she always get like this when she has sugar?"

"Yes." They say in unison. I hear Aerith sigh from behind the sofa.

"Michelle-sensei, you are _terrible_ with children!" I gulp loudly when I notice Selphie is now running horizontally against the walls.

"Okay, I get it! I'm not _usually_ this irresponsible with kids, it's just the dare!"

"SUGARSUGARSUGARSUGARSUG-" Selphie stops suddenly, now upside down on the ceiling, and starts snoring quietly, her head lolling to the side. My eyes widen.

"How is she still up there?" I look at Xigbar, who is also wearing a WTF face.

"I didn't do anything to the kid."

"Then how is she-" As if on cue, Selphie falls off the ceiling and onto Demyx, knocking him off his feet. I scramble out from under the table. "Oh crap, Demyx, Selphie! Are you okay?" Demyx groaned and ran his fingers through his mullhawk. He stands, lifting Selphie with him.

"She's okay, but that seriously hurt my chest…" I nodded at him. I put Selphie on a couch, covered her, healed Demyx's possibly broken ribs, and stood in front of the cast.

"Lessee…that was it, right? Moving on!" Before I can get the next dare card, Cloud walked back into the studio, an unconscious Axel flung over his shoulder, a slightly bloodied buster sword on the other. Everyone stares at him. "Dude, what the hell did you do?"

"Nothing too bad. Just enough to give him a concussion."

"Ooh, I see the pretty stars, mama, I wanna go taste one…" Axel mumbled, not moving at all. I groan.

"Go put him in the bathtub. Demyx, you know what to do." Cloud raised an eyebrow, but was too happy about getting to beat the crap out of the ass that had framed him to say anything. He brought Axel to the bathroom, Demyx following. I smirked. "Three, two, one…"

"HOLY FUCKING SHIT THAT'S COLD!" We heard Axel yell. Everyone sweatdropped. Vexen raised an eyebrow at me.

"What did IX do to VIII?" He asked. I snickered.

"Water. Very cold water. But more about that later, next dare! They're from KailynOfTheWaterTribe, who actually reviewed twice, so I'll do both her dares. First one!"

_Hehehehe… I'm a sucker for ToD… ^_^_

_Roxas and Ven: Have a staring contest… just because it would be weird._

_Sora: Your turn in the maid's outfit!_

_Axel: finish every sentence with the words "In bed"_

I give Roxas and Ven the card. They read it and shrug, taking seats at one of the tables across from each other. They lock eyes and automatically blink.

"Oh crap, this _is_ weird." They say in unison. I facepalm myself.

"Now you both lost! Good freakin' job…"

"Chill, Michelle-sensei, we'll do it again." Ven says calmly Roxas nods. They lock eyes again, this time neither blinking.

~two hours later~

The staring contest still hadn't ended. Demyx and Terra tried to distract the blondes to speed up the process, but Demyx got elbowed in the stomach while Terra got kneed in the bad place. Now everyone was keeping their distance. Aqua giggled.

"This really is weird to watch. They're twins, for gods' sake." Terra, who now had an ice pack between his legs, smirked.

"If only he could focus on his work this much." He said with an exaggerated sigh.

"Screw you, Terra." Ven replied, never looking away from Roxas. Terra rolled his eyes.

"Love you too, Ven." Aqua giggled again. I groaned.

"This has gone on long enough." I walked up to the table. Neither boy looked at me. I reached behind their heads and smacked their foreheads together. They winced and rubbed where the impact had been.

"Owwww!" They whined. I sighed.

"Don't your eyes hurt at all?" The boys blinked at me and automatically rubbed their eyes furiously. "…You're kidding, right?" The boys hadn't even noticed their burning eyes until after the contest was forced to end. Sephiroth nodded knowingly.

"Endurance, miss Michelle, endurance."

"Yeah, yeah, I know." I pull the bottomless box of awesome out of nowhere and take out a brown maid's outfit, tossing it to Sora. "You're up, little brother." Sora stared at the outfit and sighed, retreating to the changing room.

~ten minutes later~

Out from the room Sora comes, now wearing the maid's outfit, blushing scarlet, and trying to pull the dress down lower. I huggle him.

"Soraaaaaaa, you're so cuuuuuute!"

"…it's too short!" The brunette groaned. Xemnas snickered from the sofa.

"Told you so." He said in a matter-of-fact tone.

"Hush, Mansex!" Saix growls at me, but I ignore him and turn back to Sora. "Again, I say it's supposed to be that length. Zexy's and Mansex's are thigh high too."

"I haaaate it!" I hug him again, nuzzling his cheek.

"I'm sorry Sora, but you didn't have a choice! Just stay in the outfit for a bit and then you can take it off. Or Riku will strip it off. Whichever comes first." Sora goes a shade redder and looks at Riku, who was also crimson.

"He wouldn't do that…would he?" I giggle.

"You kidding, he's a sex fie-mmph!" Riku covered my mouth with his hand.

"Nothing! Nothing at all, I'm nothing! Of course I wouldn't do that to you, Sora!" Sora smiled appreciatively and nodded.

"I know, I trust you." Sora said in an innocent voice. Riku groaned and tilted his head back, trying and failing to be discreet about the coming nosebleed. I growl and bite his finger. He yelps and shakes his hand.

"I think I'm gonna hurry along and move on before Sora gets raped." Sora is quiet. He tugs on Leon's sleve.

"Leon, what does rape mean?" Leon turned red.

"_Why_ the hell do you _always_ ask _me_ these questions?" He replied, trying to sound cal. Sora shrugged and I giggled again.

"Kay then. Where's Axel?"

"Up here." Axel said. We turn to him. He's coming down the stairs, trails of smoke coming off of his body. Cloud and Demyx are right behind him. Cloud coughs a bit.

"No one go in the bathroom for a while." Demyx just giggles. Cloud and Demyx rejoin the audience, Axel walking up to me.

"Need something?" I nod and hand him the notecard. He reads it and smirks. "Most of my sentences end in that anyway in bed." I groaned.

"I'm gonna regret this dare, I know it."

"Probably in bed." I glare at Axel.

"From now on, Flamsilocks no allowed to talk, get it?"

"Got it in bed." I sweatdrop.

"…Thanks a lot, KailynOfTheWaterTribe. Now he's gonna annoy us to death." Axel pouted and put his hands on his hips.

"Aww, Michelle-sensei, I thought you loved me in bed." He said, smirking. He was obviously choosing his words on purpose. I groan.

"…Let's just move on. Like I said, she reviewed twice, so second set of dares, away!"

_DARES:_

_Reno: Go on a Sherlock Holmes style investigation to find out who cut off your ponytail. I'll give you a hint: It wasn't Cloud._

_Sora: You're so adorable! Have as much candy as you want. (gives him a giant pile of sweets)_

_Riku: Question: Did something traumatic happen to you as a child that made your hair turn silver?_

_All the keyblade wielders: FIGHT TO SEE WHO IS STRONGEST!_

Reno sweatdrops and looks at Cloud. "So you really didn't do it?"

"Nope. How would I? I don't have your apartment key anymore."

"…Sorry, bro…"

"Eh, we're cool. I got my revenge already."

"Heh, good for you. Now…who's Sherlock Holmes?" Rude sighed.

"Excuse him, he doesn't read classic works of literature." I nod.

"I feel your pain, Rude." I say, sending a slight glare at Axel and Demyx. I turned back to Reno. "Sherlock Holmes was a famous detective who always got his man through making observations and collecting clues."

"Cool, so I get to go sleuthing?"

"Yup. But first," I dig through the bottomless box of awesome and pull out a plaid cloak, hat, and magnifying glass. I give them to Reno, who slips them on. He looks at himself in the mirror.

"Huh. Not bad. Now, TO SOLVE THIS CASE!" And off he goes, looking at random things through the magnifying glass. Everyone sweatdrops. Cloud leans in and whispers to me.

"Maybe we should just tell him." I snickered evilly.  
"And miss this? Oh hell no." Cloud shrugs.

"Yeah, you're right." I smile at him.

"Of course I am. Now, while Reno solves the great ponytail predicament, let's get a move on, shall we?" Sora bounces up and down on the balls of his feet.

"So that means I get my candy?"

"Yup."

"YAY! …Where is it? I don't see it any-OOF!" The candy fell from the ceiling and piled on top of Sora, burying him alive in a mountain of candy. "MMPF!" He somehow manages to wiggle out of the mountain and smiles. "CANDYYYYY!" Aerith's eyes go wide.

"Dear gods…" Leon facepalmed himself.

"Oh no…" He muttered. Cloud groaned.

"Uh oh…" The blonde murmered. They all knew what happened when Sora ate too much sugar. Sora was about to chomp into a candy bar, but seeing the expressions on his friends' faces, turns to me.

"The girl didn't say I had to eat it all, right? I can share? Cuz I'm not gonna eat all this!" He lied, knowing full well that if given enough time, the candy would all be snarfed in less than 24 hours. I re-read the dare and smile.

"No, you can share."

"Good!" Sora rummages through the candy and pulls out three packs of pixy stix. "Cuz Leon likes Pixy stix," The brunette tossed the bags to Leon, who smirked and winked at Sora. "Cloud likes stuff with peanut butter in it," He gathered up six packs of reeses cups and gave them to the blonde, who gave an appreciative grin. "And Aerith, Tifa, and Yuffie likes chewy fruit stuff." Sora said, giving each girl four packs of starburst. They give bright smiles and thank yous. Ventus kneels next to Sora and starts to dig through the candy mountain as well.

"Plus, Terra likes rock candy," Ven pulled out ten sticks of variously flavored rock candy and gave them to Terra, who stared down at them, in shock that Ventus actually listened to him. "And Aqua likes caramel." He tossed Aqua three caramel apples, along with a few other caramel filled candy bars. She smiled and ruffled Ven's hair. Now Roxas stepped up to the diminishing pile of candy.

"Axel likes cinnamon candy," Roxas picked up five boxes of flamethrowers and gave them to Axel, who immediately popped two in his mouth. "Demyx and Vexen like minty stuff," The blonde handed both of the older blondes six packs of York peppermint patties. Vexen raised an eyebrow before biting into one and smirking, while Demyx ruffled Roxas's hair. "Zexion likes blue raspberry flavored stuff," He gathered ten big blue raspberry lollipops, which he gave to Zexion, who nodded happily and stuck one in his mouth. "And Larxene likes pop rocks." He said, handing the Nymph three large packs of them. She smirks at him half thankfully and half mischievously. I run up and huggle all three.

"That was soooooo cute! Sharing with everyone like that, so selfless!" The three boys laugh and try to wiggle away before they get choked. Realizing that, I let them go. "Oh, right, sorry. But what about you guys? What candy do you like?" They all nod at each other.

"CHOCOLATE!" They say excitedly and start eating the remainder of the candy, which happened to be all chocolate. I sweatdrop.

"…They used us to sort the candy and get rid of what they didn't want." Cloud pointed out. Everyone nodded. I sighed.

"Next request. So Riku, why _is_ your hair silver?" Riku shrugged.

"Cid bleached my shampoo and it just sort of stayed like that." My jaw hit the floor.

"Well then what color was it before?" He whispers into my ear. I go into hysterics. "Oh crap, really? No damn way!"

"Gods' honest." Everyone raised an eyebrow.

"Well? What color was it?" Leon asked impatiently. I collect myself enough to stand without falling.

"H-h-his hair w-was…p-p-pink!" Everyone is silent before joining me in laughter.

"You're kidding, like Marluxia pink?" Demyx asked, grabbing his sides.

"Yeah, exactly like Marluxia pink!" I replied, still rolling on the ground. The laughter is interrupted by a door slamming open.

"I KNOW WHO DID IT!" Reno yelled. Axel gulped and hid behind me. Reno took slow steps toward Axel. "Now, they nearly got me. But upon closer inspection of my room, and of Cloud's words earlier today, I've finally figured it out." Reno is now about three feet in front of me and Axel. He puffs on a toy pipe and blows out fake smoke. He smirks and turns to face the cast. "IT WAS MS. WHITE IN THE STUDY WITH THE KNIFE!" Axel punches the back of Reno's head.

"IT WAS _ME_, DUMBASS! DAMMIT, WERE YOU _BORN_ THIS STUPID? THIS ISN'T CLUE!" Reno rubbed his head and blinked at Axel.

"Uh, right, I knew that. Now, that being said, DIE MUTHAH FUCKAH!" Reno pulls the EMR out of its' holder and taps it against his hand, glaring at Axel. Axel sighed and I nudged him.

"You shoulda just let him live in his fantasy detective world."

"Eh, I don't give a damn anymore. Clue, though?" Reno lunged at Axel, who moved out of the way and ran for his life for the second time that day. Rude sighed.

"I'm forcing him to read the book as soon as we get home." I nodded.

"Good idea. Well, I'm Michelle-sensei, and that was my co-host Axel. Leave a question or dare for anyone. Oh, and i got curious, so I started a poll on my profile. Cookies and plushies to all who answer it! G'night, guys!" Roxas, Ventus, and Sora all smile widely, randomly pop up in my shot, and frantically wave goodbye to the camera. I sighed again. "And remember to never let little kids eat sugar."


	7. Music, Dresses, and Murder  OH MY!

I walk into the studio and groan, throwing my backpack on the floor and bellyfloping into the sofa. Xigbar raises an eyebrow at me.

"Bout time you showed up." I groan again.

"Sorry I'm late everyone." I mumble into the pillow. Leon pats my head.

"What happened, sis?" I look up at him and start crying.

"MY FLASH DRIVE WENT TO THE GREAT COMPUTER STORE IN THE SKYYY!" I continue to cry into the pillow. Yuffie smacks the back of Leon's head and (literally) throws him away from me. She gives me a hug.

"Aww, don't cry, Michelle-sensei! Here, take this!" She digs in her pockets and hands me a credit card. I stare at it. Everyone else silently checks their wallets and counts their cards. "It's Leon's!"

"WHAT?" Leon yelled, looking through his wallet. "YUFFIE HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET MY AMERICAN EXPRESS? GIMME IT!" Yuffie sticks her tongue out at him.

"You were the one who made her cry!" She turned back to me. "Hows about you, me, Aerith, and Tifa go on a little shopping spree in Wutai?" Tifa and Aerith look at each other and grin.

"Count us in." They both pull cards out of their pockets. Cloud and Zack eye each other wearily and check their wallets again.

"MY MASTERCARD!" Zack yells.

"MY VISA CARD!" Cloud yells soon after. The four of us giggle.

"You're on, Yuffie. But who's card did you ste- I mean, borrow?"

"Cid's!"

"Say wha?" Cid pulls out his wallet. "HOW THE FUCK DID YA GET YER GRUBBY PAWS ON MY DEBIT CARD?" Reno and Axel snicker.

"That's just what women do, Cid. They have a way with stealin' cash." Reno said. I roll my eyes at him.

"Yeah, like this." I pull out a red credit card. Reno's eyes widen and he digs through his wallet.

"HOW DO YOU _DO_ THAT?" He asks. I giggle.

"It's a girl thing." I slip Reno and Leon's credit cards into my pocket and stand up. "Well, now that I feel better, let's get a move on, shall we? First dare from Nightsilent!"

I'll try to go all out crazy…here goes…

_Zexion and Ienzo: Wear a dress and go to a cosplay convention. (Author decides the dress, and apologies to both of you)_

_Larxene: Destroy Marluxia's garden and blame it on Axel. (Payback, Axel)_

_Demyx: Everyone mistakes your sitar for a guitar…so play an actual guitar!_

_Lexaeus: Talk for the rest of the chapter, and have a cookie!_

And Chapter 5 is one epic chapter, by the way!

I grin. "Aww, thanks! I like how episode five turned out." I glance at Sora. Poor boy, never stood a chance against those Pomeranians… "Zexy? ZoZo? Would you two come here for me please?" I say with a devious glint in my eyes. Zexion and Ienzo reluctantly step forward, Ienzo seeming to hide behind his taller counterpart.

"What torture has the reviewer ordered upon us this time, Michelle-sensei?" I hand Zexion the card. He kneels down so Ienzo can read it as well. Their eyes widen. Zexion is shocked silent. Ienzo scribbles in his sketchbook and hands it to me.

We put them on, show up at this convention, and leave, correct?

"Correct." I confirm. Zexion's jaw is still hanging from its' hinges. I give Ienzo his dress and throw the other one over Zexion's shoulder. The bluenette doesn't move. Ienzo sighed and dragged his Nobody to the changing room. I giggle. "Any of you want to go get a camera, now would be the time to do it." I tell the cast. Vexen, Lexaeus, Xigbar, Axel, Demyx, Luxord, Roxas, Even, Aeleus, and Lea all scuttle off to get various forms of picture taking devices.

~Ten minutes later~

Both boys walk out of the changing room, and even Zexion is blushing brightly. Zexion is wearing a white mermaid style wedding dress, complete with a bouquet of navy blue and white roses. Ienzo, on the other hand, is wearing a simple silver cocktail dress. In the background, I hear the shuttering of camera lenses as everyone rushes to take pictures before one of the boys loses their temper. The smaller of the two tries in futility to pull the dress lower so it'll cover more than his mid thighs. He sighs and gives me his sketchbook.

Why am I in the short strapless dress?

"Because you have the legs for it, even if you are short." I answer. Ienzo groans and pinches the bridge of his nose. Zexion, still bright red, readjusts one of his shoulder straps, only to have it slide down again.

"I don't know what's more uncomfortable. The dress, the heels, or the panties." Everyone blinks at him.

"You put them in _panties_?" Lexaeus and Aeleus ask in sync, sounding flabbergasted. I nod.

"Yup. Lingerie, actually." At this, Xigbar and Braig's eyes widen, smirks forming on their lips.

"Ooh, can I see?" They ask in unison. Even slaps the back of Xigbar's head just as Vexen slaps Braig's.

"_No_!" The two blondes yell. Xigbar and Braig rub their heads and slink back to their spots, mumbling something about figuring out how to beat overprotective parents. I sweatdrop.

"Alrighty, that's enough stereo for one episode. C'mon boys, time to go to the convention." I tell them cheerily. Zexion sighs and opens a portal leading to the convention, reluctantly walking through, Ienzo at his heels.

~Three hours later~

Zexion and Ienzo return and immediately slump to the emo corner, where they hug each other and rock gently. I raise a brow at them.

"What happened?" I look closer at them and notice they're covered in lipstick marks and their dresses are tattered.

"M-m-make the s-scary girls go a-away…m-make them go away…p-please make them go away…" Zexion chants, while Ienzo nods in agreement beside him. All of a sudden I don't want to know what the fangirls did to them.

"While they recover from Post-Fangirl Syndrome, let's keep going. Larxene, dear, you're up!" She walks to me and grins mischeviously. I give her the card. She reads it and smirks sadistically.

"Ooh, I'm so up for this one." Larxene scans the cast. She walks up to Reno and smiles before yanking a few hairs out of his ponytail that he'd mysteriously regrown in less than a month, making him yelp. The savage Nymph then opens a corridor of darkness and leaves without another word. Reno rubs his head and raises an eyebrow at me.

"The hell just happened, yo?" I giggle and give him the card. He skims it and suddenly puts the pieces together. "Oh. …_Ohhh_, she needed to plant evidence, and getting it from him would look too suspicious, right?" I smile and nod.

"You're not always stupid after all." I say. He smirks smugly before realizing he'd been insulted, but by then I was already gone to watch Larxene's plant carnage.

~Marluxia's garden~

I arrive to find Marluxia's prized rose bushes on fire, his herbs and spices uprooted, and his flowers smashed with a mallot. I quickly spot Larxene and wave at her. She waves back with the hand not holding the huge hammer.

"Just in time, Michelle-sensei." Larxene digs in her pocket and pulls out the strands of red hair. She casts aero on them and I watch as they scatter around the tattered remains of garden. I grin.

"Wait, but what if he thinks Reno did it?"

"That's why I did this." She said deviously, handing me a yellow sticky note. I look at the note, which is in Axel's handwriting, and smirk.

_Revenge for Roxas, be-atch!_

Axel

"Very nice. Good forgery, by the way." I tell her.

"Why thank you." She takes the note and plants it on a tree (the only thing still standing). "Shall we harmonize?"

"Let's." I say with a nod.

"MARLUXIAAA!" We yell. Marluxia comes running.

"You two know you aren't allowed in- EEEEK! MY GARDEN!" He faints on the spot. Larxene and I look at each other, snicker, and go to rejoin the cast. Everyone else had been watching on the monitors and were laughing at Marluxia's reaction.

"Oh Gods, can we rewind that?" Xigbar manages to get out between his laughter. Vexen pulls a remote out of his coat and rewinds to just before Marluxia faints and plays it back in slow motion. Everyone laughs again.

"Did you hear him shriek? Too funny!" Sora said, struggling to regain a straight face.

"Haha, I know! But he'll survive…I think. Anyway, moving on! Demy, hand over Arpeggio." I say in between my laughing fits.

"WHAT?" Demyx yells, instantly hiding his sitar behind his back. I roll my eyes.

"Chillax, Demyx. You're just gonna play a guitar and then you get your sitar back."

"…Oh." He gives me his sitar, and I hand him a nearly identical guitar out of nowhere. He looks it over and shrugs, beginning to play and sing along with what he's playing.

_Put your toys away, well all I gotta say when ya tell me not to play I say no way, no no friggin' way,_

Everyone is shocked silent. Isa taps my shoulder. "…Is he singing…?" The bluenette begins asking.

_I'm a kid you say? When ya say I'm a kid I say say it again, and then I say thanks, thank you very muuuuch._

"No way. No way that's what he's singing." Lea answers before I get the chance.

_So if you're thinking that you'd like to be like me, go ahead and try, the kid inside will set you free. Hammala bebala zeebala boobala hammala bebala zeebala bop._

_I'm a Goofy Goober, ROCK!_

The cast members aged sixteen and younger roll on the floor, clutching their sides. Leon raises an eyebrow.

"What's a goofy goober?" The brunette asked in a confused tone.

"No clue." Cloud answers with a shrug.

"Pfft…You don't wanna know…Trust me…" I say, giggling. Demyx finishes his song and then breaks out laughing himself.

"Y'know, that was fun! I like playing guitar." I nod at him.

"And you're good at it, too. Wanna keep her?"

"Ooh, can I?" Demyx asks, looking like a kid that has just been told he was getting taken to Disney World.

"Sure. She costs about 500 munny."

"Deal!" He digs in the pocket of his coat for his wallet. "Hey…my wallet's gone!"

"No it isn't." I pull his wallet out of my pocket and pull out the munny before throwing it back to him. "Hold onto it this time, maestro." Demyx gapes like a fish. I just laugh at his face. "Your turn, Lexy." A cookie the size of a basketball appears in his hand. Axel stares at it.

"No fair, how come my cookie wasn't that big?" The redhead asked, pouting like a little kid.

"Axel…do you _not_ see the size difference between you and I?" Lexaeus retorted. Everyone's eyes went wide.

"Wow, he does talk!" Yuffie yelled excitedly.

"Just because I choose not to speak doesn't mean I'm incapable of it." He replies calmly. Lexaeus takes a bite out of the gigantic cookie. "Good cookie, by the way. Thankyou, Nightsilent."

"…Wow. Just wow. Next dare!" I yell, looking up reviews. "Ooh, here's one from gstol1."

_* hugs plushie* Almost as soft as the original._

_Now… * Disappears and reappears as a blue haired guy with swords*_

_Time to die, Vexen and Zexion. * beats them to a pulp* That's what you get for hurting Marluxia when he had that court case!_

_Now… Dare Tiem!_

_Larxene: A token of my appreciation. * hands her several kunai* They look like your old ones, but you can channel different magics through them, using holes in the bottom._

_Sephiroth: I need to beat up Genesis. Do you know where he is?_

_Vexen I'll give you one chance to redeem yourself. Go comfort Marluxia._

_Axel: Bye. * blasts away with air* I didn't know that would work…_

_Xigbar: * hands card* One act of protection. use it wisely._

_Sora: You are what we humans call insaaaaaaane!_

_Zexion: * Hands him a brick, and points to a window* You chuck the brick, it goes through the window, it hits who or what you want to hit._

_BAAIII!_

"IV! VI!" Lexaeus yelled, running up to the beaten figures of the two scientists. They're unconscious. I poke them with a pen, but they do nothing. I smirk.

"Thorough, aintcha Skife?"

"Skife?" everyone asks.

"Yeah, the badass blue haired dude. His name is Skife."

"Waaaait a minute…haven't we done this guy's dares before?" Riku noted. I nod. Larxene rolls her eyes.

"Ugh, it's the perv who tried to friggin' kidnap me. Ass." She says. I hand her the kunais.

"Be nice, he brought you a present. You can channel magic through these."

"…I can?" She holds one of the knives and fills it with electricity. "Ooh, I can! Anyone want some Axel extra crispy?" She tosses the kunai at Axel. It hits him square in the shoulder.

"…um, ow? That hurt, but nothing hap-GYAAAAAH!" The electricity in the kunai shocks Axel unconscious. He falls to the ground. Roxas and Xion surround him and poke him with various objects.

"If Larxene killed him, can I have his stuff?" Roxas asked. Axel shoots upright again.

"WHAT? MAN, FORGET Y-AGGGGGH!" The kunai shocks him again, making him fall back again. I sweatdrop.

"Sure, go room raiding." I tell them. They smile.

"YAY!" Roxas and Xion run off to steal Axel's stuff. I sigh.

"Seph, Skife wants to know where Genesis is. Do you know?" Sephiroth raised an eyebrow.

"Why does he need to know?"

"Err…There was this party and-"

"Say no more," Sephiroth interrupted with a visible shudder. "He is in Banora at the moment. Give him a kick in the crotch for me." Skife nods, smirks, and leaves. I sweatdrop.

"Should I go warn Genesis?"

"No." Sephiroth, Cloud, Zack, and Reno say in sync. I growl at them.

"I said no more stereo!"

"We cannot help it." Sephiroth points out. I groan.

"Let's just move on."

"But Vexy is still out of it." Demyx said, giving Vexen's temple a few idle pokes.

"So? Pour cold water on their heads." Demyx nods and snaps his fingers. Icy cold water falls on the unconscious pair. They jolt back into awareness.

"GAH! Cold!" They yell. I roll my eyes.

"Vexy, go make Marly feel better." I point to the garden, where Marluxia is still grieving.

"For?"

"I dunno, something bout a court case."

"What court ca…_oh_." Vexen stands and walks out to the garden, several of us following. "XI, why are you moping?"

"Why am I moping? Do you _see_ my garden?" Marluxia sobs. Vexen crouches down beside him and rubs his back. His eyes rested on the tree, and more specifically, the note. He stands, walks to it, and reads it.

"Will you feel better if you know who did it?"

"Yeah! Do you know? Please tell me you know!" Vexen just nods and hands Marluxia the note. The scythe wielder reads it and turns red with fury. "AXEL!"

"Who, me? What?" Axel asked, pointing at himself and looking very confused.

"YOU WRECKED MY GARDEN!"

"I did not!"

"EXPLAIN THIS THEN!" Marluxia thrusts the note into Axel's hands. Axel reads it and sighs.

"Why's this always happen to me?" Reno pat Axel's shoulder.

"You should run now." He says solemnly. Axel nods.

"Uh, yeah, I should, shouldn't I. GYAAAAH!" And off Axel runs full speed, busting through the glass sliding door, with Marluxia following. I sweatdrop again.

"Alrighty then…so the next dare is kinda null and void, since Axel's already running for his life. Sora, any comments?"

"…Am I insane, Riku?" Sora asks in an innocent tone.

"Yes." Riku answers bluntly. Sora pouts.

"Hmph!" He turns his back to Riku. Riku sighs. I giggle.

"So Zexy is last. ZEXY! FRONT AND CENTER!" I yell.

"Ow! I'm right next to you, Michelle-sensei! You don't have to shout!" He says back, twisting his pinky into his ear in an attempt to regain feeling in it. I giggle and pat his still wet head.

"You. Brick. Throw. Window. Now." I give him the brick. He raises an eyebrow and turns it over in his hand.

"…And this will go _anywhere_ I want it to?" I nod. Zexy smirks and throws the brick at the window. It hits the wall instead.

"…You, my dear, have terrible aim." I tell him. Zexion picks up the brick and glares at me.

"Shut it." He chucks the brick again, this time shattering the window. We watch as the brick leaves our line of sight.

"…What did you want it to hit?" Lexaeus asked calmly.

"Um…Miley Cyrus, the Jonas Brothers, the guy who invented furbies, whoever invented the Kingdom Hearts Yaoi Fanbase, and-"

_CRASH_!

The cast hears another crash, followed by several grunts. We turn and sweatdrop.

The window on the opposite side of the studio was broken, and Xemnas, Xigbar, Xaldin, Vexen, Saix, Luxord, and Marluxia, along with their somebodies, were unconscious. By Vexen's head laid a brick. Everyone who was still awake turned to Zexion slowly.

"And what?" I ask.

"…And all of Organization XIII with the exceptions of V, IX, XII, and XIII, along with their somebodies."

"…I have no comment. Well, that's the last dare, people! Go leave more for me to use! And I apologize for the crappiness of this chapter, it was kinda rushed. Didn't want you guys thinking I abandoned this story. The ones from now on should be better."

"Emphasis on should." Lexaeus adds. I glare at him.

"Okay, you no talky no more, got it big guy?"

"Got it." He replies, smirking slightly. I roll my eyes.

"Thanks for reading, guys. Go leave more dares for me and my buddies here! And now, SHOPPING!" Me, Aerith, and Tifa squeal in delight. Yuffie joins us and throws a smoke bomb on the ground. When the smoke disperses, we're gone. Cloud sighs and pulls out his cell phone.

"Yes, hello? I'd like to put a limit on my credit card." He says.


End file.
